Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No.147

Contest No. 147 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, May 28, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. “But . . I thought the IRS
    “But . . I thought the IRS would send a warning letter first!!”

  2. “To be clear, you’re just
    “To be clear, you’re just looking for money and jewelry?”

  3. “You won’t kill me? Frankly,
    “You won’t kill me? Frankly, I don’t think I believe you.”

  4. Yes! Yes! I’ve cheated Death
    Yes! Yes! I’ve cheated Death many times but that’s no reason to make this personal!

  5. Sorry, but I already gave my
    Sorry, but I already gave my life to my lord and saviour Jesus Christ!

  6. Sorry, but I can’t spare one.
    Sorry, but I can’t spare one… my wife already says I need to “get a life”!

  7. Can you wait until Thursday,
    Can you wait until Thursday, I have a specialist appointment on Wednesday that I’ve been waiting months for.

  8. Can I at least return my
    Can I at least return my Netflix DVDs first. I hear the late fees are killer!

  9. “Wait…wait !!!! If I don’t
    “Wait…wait !!!! If I don’t text my wife…SHE”ll kill me!!!!

  10. Thank God I don’t have to go
    Thank God I don’t have to go through with that colonoscopy!!!

  11. “Hurry up, will you. My wife
    “Hurry up, will you. My wife will kill me if I’m late for supper.”

  12. Well, this just completed my
    Well, this just completed my denial stage but there are four more stages to go.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).