Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 145

Contest No. 145 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. You will also be asked to verify that you are a human being and not a robot. Please follow the instructions in the “Captcha” box. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, April 2, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. It’s official … with my
    It’s official … with my deciding vote, the AYES have it!
    The motion for the installation of a BIG SCREEN TV,
    programmed with the “ALL SPORTS CHANNEL”, in the west wing of

  2. “It’s only FIVE MINUTES into
    “It’s only FIVE MINUTES into the meeting … did you “ALL” have

  3. “Who is “NOT” in FAVOUR, of
    “Who is “NOT” in FAVOUR of using our SURPLUS FUNDS to install
    a MEN’S BARBER SHOP on the premises?”

  4. “Okay … so, four of you,
    “Okay … so, four of you oppose the installation of SUN-ROOFS
    in the Lounge!”

  5. “You are all qualified …
    “You are all qualified … but who feels that they have the
    EXPERIENCE to head the ALOPECIA Campaign?”

  6. “That’s 4-3 in favor, and
    “That’s 4-3 in favor, and since I always go with the winners, the motion passes.”

  7. “Who else agrees we never
    “Who else agrees we never accomplish anything, but should continue meeting?”

  8. “Who else thinks Bob has
    “Who else thinks Bob has proved there are, in fact, stupid questions?”

  9. “That’s 4-3 in favor of
    “That’s 4-3 in favor of raising prices, reducing product amounts, and laughing all the way to the bank.”

  10. “Any volunteers to test our
    “Any volunteers to test our new Pain Capsule … possible side
    effects … excessive hair growth!”

  11. “As your new CEO, we will
    “As your new CEO, we will begin, by getting acquainted …
    Baldy Jones …”

  12. “Would the team in charge of
    “Would the team in charge of “PERSONNEL GRIEVANCES”
    please raise their hands!”

  13. “I’m looking for a volunteer
    “I’m looking for a volunteer to skip this meeting and –.”

  14. “…So, that’s as clear as I
    “…So, that’s as clear as I can make it. Any questions?”

  15. All in favor of banning
    All in favor of banning shampoo and combs from our Secret Santa, raise your hand.

  16. “This is an important meeting
    “This is an important meeting so I’m going to have to ask you to stop raising your hands to go to the restroom.”

  17. Under the new health and
    Under the new health and safety guidelines, all employees must wear hair nets during work hours. Are there any questions?

  18. “Show of hands, which of you
    “Show of hands, which of you invested company money in hair growing products?”

  19. For my first ruling as new
    For my first ruling as new boss, who here votes beer in the water fountains?

  20. “What part of, ‘everyone must
    “What part of, ‘everyone must try out the new hair removal laser,’ did you three not understand?”

  21. “Who here is suffering from
    “Who here is suffering from the side effects of the hair growth formula?”

  22. Who was crying in the break
    Who was crying in the break room over their busted March Madness bracket?

  23. If anyone has a good reason
    If anyone has a good reason against donating to Locks for Love, please speak up now.

  24. Would anyone like to share
    Would anyone like to share their thoughts on our recent decision to test hair products on humans instead of animals?

  25. I don’t care if you call
    I don’t care if you call yourselves the “Bald Brigade”, just please stop stealing your coworkers lunches.

  26. If you are about to ask me
    If you are about to ask me where I bought my wig, I suggest you put your hand down.

  27. “We are willing to offer any
    “We are willing to offer any of you full paid flights to Los Angeles, however it is a business trip so your family’s won’t be able to ….”

  28. “OK, all those not in favor
    “OK, all those not in favor of Krellmen’s new perm, raise your hand!

  29. “OK, now all those who think
    “OK, now all those who think April Fool’s Day is a HallMark card day thing, raise your hand!

  30. C’mon guys, If I’ve told you
    C’mon guys, If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a thousand times, go before the meeting starts!

  31. Who here thinks we should
    Who here thinks we should hire a math tutor? 4 out of 7. Drat, its a tie.

  32. “Motion to remove ‘Bald’ from
    “Motion to remove ‘Bald’ from the men’s grooming guidelines…”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).