Contest No. 144 starts right now.
Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, March 5, 2019.
I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.
78 Comments
I’m sorry, this part calls
I’m sorry, this part calls for Queen Victoria.
The show we are casting for
The show we are casting for is called Queen for a Day.
Your credentials are
Your credentials are impressive. Can you start immediately on the knight shift?
Yes, you have off for May Day
Yes, you have off for May Day.
I don’t care what the rhyme
I don’t care what the rhyme says. Get your horses and your men and put it together again!
Well, back in the middle ages
Well, back in the middle ages they might have done things that way!
No, I don’t have jobs for all
No, I don’t have jobs for all the Knights of the Round Table.
This isn’t the Renaissance,
This isn’t the Renaissance, you know.
So let the peasants revolt!
So let the peasants revolt!
“I’m looking for someone
“I’m looking for someone willing to work their way up from the bottom.”
No, we do not discriminate
No, we do not discriminate against transroyal persons in our hiring process.
“I’m afraid you misunderstand
“I’m afraid you misunderstand. When we say, we are seeking
Royal applicants … we are talking TOILET TISSUE ADS!”
“I’m not disputing your ROYAL
“I’m not disputing your ROYAL qualifications … but,
BURGER KING is a restaurant!”
“I’m sorry, sir, but the
“I’m sorry, sir, but the current king already has an heir.”
“De-throned … AFTER
“De-throned … AFTER DIVORCING the Queen, for a twenty-year old
Royal groupie? YES … you are, REALITY STAR material!”
“You would have made an
“You would have made an excellent spokes-person for
MAJESTIC TOURS, but … I’m afraid Queen Latifah
beat you to the punch!”
I KNOW IT’S GOOD TO BE KING,
I KNOW IT’S GOOD TO BE KING, BUT THERE ARE NO OPENINGS NOW.
“Ahhh … The “Back-up,
“Ahhh … the “Back-up Singing Position” for PRINCE!”
“Yes, your years of
“Yes, your years of experience in the COUNTING HOUSE, should
count for something, your Majesty… but, I’m afraid, the
banks are all going digital!”
“Chicken King just doesn’t
“Chicken King just doesn’t have the same ring to it.”
“No, beheading is not part of
“No, beheading is not part of our disciplinary process.”
“Hmmm, we make meat patties
“Hmmm, we make meat patties and you’re royalty. Our new name is on the tip of my tongue.”
“This isn’t what corporate
“This isn’t what corporate had in mind for dress down Fridays.”
“We think the promotion may
“We think the promotion may have went to your head.”
“We’re sorry but you can’t
“We’re sorry but you can’t insist on being called ‘my liege’.”
“We get you think you
“We get you think you deserved the promotion, Bob, but enough is enough.”
“No, I said what ‘degree’s’
“No, I said what ‘degree’s’ do you have, not ‘decree’s!”
“What did you have in mind
“What did you have in mind for a promotion”?
“I’m afraid we won’t be able
“I’m afraid we won’t be able to meet your demands!”
“Have you tried appling at
“Have you tried appling at Burger King”?
“No Art, we’re a small shop,
“No Art, we’re a small shop, we don’t offer any round tables!”
“It’s come to my attention
“It’s come to my attention that you don’t work well with others!”
I don’t see diplomacy as your
“I don’t see diplomacy as your strong suit!”
I’m sorry . . when we said
I’m sorry . . when we said ‘fit for a king’, it was just a figure of speech.
I’m sorry, daily banquets are
I’m sorry, daily banquets are out of the question . . . you’ll have to budget your expenses like everyone else.
We don’t have any openings
We don’t have any openings for “King For a Day”.
“MOONLIGHTING … I wasn’t
“MOONLIGHTING … I wasn’t aware that the Queen
had a SHOPPING PROBLEM!”
“The divine right of kings
“The divine right of kings does not extend to executive washroom keys.”
“I’m afraid there was a typo
“I’m afraid there was a typo in the job posting. It should have read ‘Loyalty is important to us’.”
Have you tried applying at
Have you tried applying at Burger King?
Sorry, but I don’t think you
Sorry, but I don’t think you are the right fit here at Dairy Queen.
Do you have any other
Do you have any other qualifications other than “My dad was King”?
“Sorry, we can’t pay you in
“Sorry, we can’t pay you in gold coins, just direct deposit.”
I think I can get you a
I think I can get you a janitor position at Medieval Times.
Do you know how to use a
Do you know how to use a plunger?
That’s a snazzy coat you have
That’s a snazzy coat you have. Would you like to work in clothing retail?
“Well, yes … the job
“Well, yes … the job description did state,
fit for a king!”
“So, the Queen doesn’t want
“So, the Queen doesn’t want you underfoot all day,
when you pass down your title?”
“For qualifications … I see
“For qualifications … I see waving and giving orders.
Sorry, but that job is already filled … by my wife!”
“Now, regarding the Jeweller
“Now, regarding the Jeweller position … you say,
you have the MIDAS TOUCH?”
“I told you Hank, we can’t
“I told you, Hank, we can’t have all six wives as beneficiaries.”
“It is a little overdone for
“It is a little overdone for Casual Fridays, Smithers.”
“What exactly are your
“What exactly are your qualifications”
“I could have you executed”
“Your hired!”
“Jim we fired you a week ago,
“Jim we fired you a week ago, costumes aren’t going to make us think you’re someone else.”
“Sorry, but I don’t think you
“Sorry, but I don’t think you would like working among ‘peasants’ as you say”
“I believe your management
“I believe your management style will work well with the serfs in our fulfillment center. You’ve got the job!”
“Your majesty, you need to
“Your majesty, you need to stop telling the interns that you’ll send them to the dungeon if they mess up your coffee order.”
“I guess if you insist, the
“I guess if you insist, the math department could use some rulers.”
I’m sorry sir, but your son
I’m sorry sir, but your son is not guaranteed the position once you retire.
“Sir, I’m afraid we’re going
“Sir, I’m afraid we’re going to have to report you to psychiatry. Your cubicle is not a castle.”
“We would really appreciate
“We would really appreciate it if you stopped referring to the janitorial staff as peasants.”
“I love mutton as much as the
“I love mutton as much as the next guy, but don’t you think chips or pretzels would be more appropriate for an office party?”
“Do you need me to explain
“Do you need me to explain Casual Fridays to you again?”
“Some of your co-workers say
“Some of your co-workers say you’re a royal pain to work with.”
“Yes, hard times have hit us
“Yes, hard times have hit us all, Your Highness.”
“You can receive your
“You can receive your paycheck in whatever currency you would like, but I don’t know the dollar to gold conversion.”
“It’s not that I’m against
“It’s not that I’m against bribes, but could you offer money instead of your daughter’s hand in marriage?”
“We can’t offer a pipe or
“We can’t offer a pipe or bowl or your fiddlers three, but we do have yoga classes on Thursdays.”
“To be quite frank, your lack
“To be quite frank, your lack of actual work experience would make you a most unlikely candidate for the job.”
“I know we said to dress for
“I know we said to dress for the job you want, but this isn’t exactly what we had in mind.”
“I don’t care if you can make
“I don’t care if you can make me a knight, you need your certification papers.”
“I know it happens to be
“I know it happens to be Halloween, but dressing up as a king for an interview is overdone.”
“I think there’s a
“I think there’s a misunderstanding, Your Highness. Our publishing company pays *royalties* , not royalty.”
“You’re a GOOD FIT, here at
“You’re a GOOD FIT, here at IMPERIAL!
“Cute outfit, now tell me
“Cute outfit, now tell me about yourself”
“You are aware we meant the
“You are aware we meant the other type of ruler, right?”
“Boss, the time travel
“Boss, the time travel machine works! I think we should go back in time and rob the royalty again.”
I’m sorry, but the job of
I’m sorry, but the job of King of America has already been filled, by Donald Trump.