Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 143

Contest No. 143 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, February 5, 2019.   

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. “I’ll have your job before
    “I’ll have your job before you know it!”

    “I can start on Tuesday, but then I’ll need three weeks of vacation.”

    “My dad made me take this interview as a formality. He’s the CEO, you know.”

    “My skills? Ask me on a Saturday night!”

  2. Yes! I always start my sales
    Yes! I always start my sales pitch with a bad wife joke, the girls all love it.

  3. “Thank you , ma’am, now would
    “Thank you , ma’am, now would you kindly inform the gentleman I am ready for my interview???

  4. “I’m particularly experienced
    “I’m particularly experienced at trimming payrolls in areas such as human resources.”

  5. “I guess I don’t have to
    “I guess I don’t have to convince you how desperate I am
    to land this job . . . especially after ducking out on you,
    in the restaurant.”

  6. In pre-school, I got the blue
    In pre-school, I got the blue ribbon for being able to color inside the lines. In Kindergarten I got the Reading Rainbow prize. And in first grade…

  7. I hope you don’t mind that I
    I hope you don’t mind that I moved my chair catty-corner from yours so we can talk more intimately.

  8. “I’m supposed to be meeting
    “I’m supposed to be meeting with my parole officer now, but I didn’t want to miss your interview.”

  9. “Well, this is awkward …
    “Well, this is awkward … but remember, Louise … it’s in
    YOUR best interests to hire me — with the alimony and all!”

  10. “The bad news, is … I
    “The bad news, is … I dented your new Mercedes.
    The good news, is … if I get the job — I’ll be
    happy to pay!”

  11. “Hey, nobody told me they
    “Hey, nobody told me they were going to ask me questions. I usually get a job on my looks.”

  12. “I’m applying for the Vice
    “I’m applying for the Vice President position…but I’ll take the mail room if that’s all you have.”

  13. “Well, since I’ve positioned
    “Well, since I’ve positioned myself at the head of the table, maybe I should be asking all the questions here.”

  14. “Relax, Ma’am … It”s not
    “Relax, Ma’am … It”s not the FIRE ALARM … It’s my
    ANKLE BRACELET! I’m out of my five-mile radius.”

  15. “Well I wouldn’t say I was
    “Well I wouldn’t say I was actually fired, they just made me VP of Employment Acquisition!

  16. “I have a very particular set
    “I have a very particular set of skills that make me a nightmare for HR people like you. If you hire me now I will not pursue other offers. But if you don’t, I will look for you, I will find a good EEOC lawyer, and I will file for unemployment discrimination!”

  17. “If you don’t like my answers
    “If you don’t like my answers am I still eligible for unemployment compensation?”

  18. “Hypothetically speaking …
    “Hypothetically speaking … would the CHOSEN applicant
    be eligible for an ADVANCE on their pay?”

  19. “I was a president of a
    “I was a president of a college…but then the government shut down Trump University.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).