Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 133

Contest No. 133 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, May 1, 2018.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. This is another “golden oldie” of mine, probably about 60 years old — it’s finished off with a brush, and I haven’t done that since the 1950’s, when I began using Rapidograph and then Micron pens.


  1. “I know I’m a ‘glass half
    “I know I’m a ‘glass half-empty’ kinda guy, but this is ridiculous.”

  2. “It says, objects floating in
    “It says, objects floating in this cup are larger than they appear!”

  3. “It says, if you can read
    “It says, if you can read this, break-time is over, get back to work!”

  4. “Well that answers a lot of
    “Well that answers a lot of questions!” “Official water of the White House!”

  5. Wow! This new zero calorie
    Wow! This new zero calorie vitamin enriched organic sparkling water sure eats though the paper cups faster than the good old fashioned stuff.

  6. Gee, I’ve really been
    Gee, I’ve really been enjoying the water more lately, and I just noticed there is a worm in the bottom of my cup!

  7. I’m all for saving the
    I’m all for saving the environment, and these new environmentally friendly cups say “10% less materials used”. Too bad the 10% they saved was by not putting a solid bottom on my cup!

  8. “Perkins, I hired you – to
    “Perkins, I hired you to save the company money. However, I’m having second thoughts on your decision to wash and re-use the paper cups!”

  9. “Oh dear, I was multi-tasking
    “Oh dear, I was multi-tasking, and had a cup in each hand. Did I accidentally hand in the wrong cup for my urine sample?”

  10. “Oh, if this water-cooler,
    “Oh, if this water-cooler fly could only talk, the tales he could tell!”

  11. “Cheers!- to the employee of
    “Cheers!– to the employee of the month, and cheers!– to “ALL” the brown nosers.”

  12. ‘According to the bubble
    “According to the bubble formations, I see a pay-raise in your future.”

  13. “Don’t judge! It’s either
    “Don’t judge! It’s either this, or another pay cut – for roof repairs.”

  14. “What could be more fitting,
    “What could be more fitting, in the Urology Department — Incontinent cups!”

  15. “P L A C E B O – Does this
    “P L A C E B O – Does this mean, we’re not getting the “REAL” drinking water?”

  16. “It’s Colo-rectal month, and
    “It’s Colo-rectal month, and apparently we are expected to eat the edible, high-fibre cup — after each water break!”

  17. I`ll give this a miss,I
    I’ll give this a miss, I remember how the boss refilled it at the office Christmas party.

  18. “Hey, what’s this worm doing
    “Hey, what’s this worm doing in my water???” “ Looks like the backstroke!!”

  19. “Well, I’ll be darned. Made
    “Well, I’ll be darned. Made from recycled toilet tissue!”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).