Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 128

Contest No. 128 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest.  This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, January 2, 2018.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions, and it’s a really old one. Just look at the size of that “computer” I dreamed up. This guy definitely needs a laptop! Okay, captioneers, let’s see what you can do with this relic from the past. Happy New Year!


  1. Well I see you have a fool
    Well I see you have a fool proof system here…and you’ve hired the right fool to run it.

  2. Well here’s your problem. It
    Well here’s your problem. It should be “00110110110111010”, not “00110110100111010”.

    Have you considered investing in an iPhone?

    I’d better check with my grandfather on this one.

  3. “I’m gonna have to charge you
    “I’m gonna have to charge you extra, you should’a bought the ‘Comcast-XFINITY’ in-home wiring repair package!”

  4. “Hey, I wanted to be an
    “Hey, I wanted to be an Electrical Engineer too, but repair work pays a lot more better!”

  5. “I’ve only seen one other
    “I’ve only seen one other server like it in my career….,
    Hilary’s server!”

  6. Sorry, the Gary Engineering
    Sorry, the Gary Engineering Company can’t fix this one. Try the Marc Engineering Company!

  7. “Yeah, these things tend to
    “Yeah, these things tend to break down on the day their 50 year warranty expires.”

  8. “Well, to start with…I’d
    “Well, to start with…I’d clear out everyone within fifty miles of this machine!”

  9. “They don’t make tools for
    “They don’t make tools for this machine any more, but you’re in luck…I just happen to have one of my wife’s bobby pins on me.”

  10. “A room full of monkeys could
    “A room full of monkeys could spit out the full works of Shakespeare faster than this old relic.”

  11. “Oops, I accidentally pressed
    “Oops, I accidentally pressed the reset button. So what’s that, fifty or sixty years of work down the drain?”

  12. “ I’m afraid it’s going to
    “ I’m afraid it’s going to take a month or two to download and install all the updates!”

  13. “The good news is, I can fix
    “The good news is, I can fix it. The bad news is, I have to bring it back to the shop.”

  14. Can you believe it? This
    Can you believe it? This monster computer contains ten trillion bits and it’s now worth less than one bitcoin!

  15. You say this was patched up
    You say this was patched up in some convoluted way by the Marc Engineering Company and it broke again – then it’s hopeless!! He doesn’t take phone calls and the internet and texting haven’t been invented yet!

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).