Contest No. 127 starts right now.
Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 12, 2017.
I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.
52 Comments
“Now I’ll show you our exit
“Now I’ll show you our exit strategy!”
Come into my parlor said the
Come into my parlor said the spider to the fly
Don”t worry, you will not
Don”t worry, you will not feel a thing.
“Come see the new employee
“Come see the new employee motivation technique I developed…”
When the boss said heads must
When the boss said heads must roll on this one…we’re taking him literally!
I thought it was time we
I thought it was time we sharpened your marketing skills!
Congratulations,Burns you`ve
Congratulations, Burns, you`ve got the lead part in the remake of Blade Runner.
Come along Jones and I`ll
Come along, Jones, and I`ll introduce you to our new welfare manager, Gill O`teen.
I was brought up in a
I was brought up in a household that valued time-efficiency over all other things. This is where we gave each other haircuts!
“We call this our Loyalty
“We call this our Loyalty Room.”
“And we’re proud to say the
“And we’re proud to say the company has never missed a deadline.”
“Before we go in, just
“Before we go in, just remember we ARE a headhunting firm.”
“Don’t worry, we’ll keep you
“Don’t worry, we’ll keep you updated on your performance.”
“You know Bill, it is quite
“You know Bill, it is quite unusual for a young associate to be named new product tester and a true honor indeed.”
Don”t worry, your head is in
Don”t worry, your head is in good hands.
“You gotta check out my new
“You gotta check out my new cigar tip cutter.”
“I found a way to save a lot
“I found a way to save a lot of money on haircuts.”
“I just got something on my
“I just got something on my bucket list.”
“This is guaranteed to take
“This is guaranteed to take away your headache.”
“Let me show you some of my
“Let me show you some of my mounted heads.”
We have a proven method of
We have a proven method of reducing our staff, and saving money from company payouts.
Don’t worry, your headache
Don’t worry, your headache will soon be a thing of the past.
“I found it on a late night
“I found it on a late night infomercial…It slices, it dices, makes Julienne Fries, and…Well, I just couldn’t resist it!”
“This game is all about
“This game is all about buckets.”
“When the executive board put
“When the executive board put my company on the chopping block, I decided to get sweet revenge.”
“What say we end off a
“What say we end off a perfect evening with a fun parlor game?”
“We’ve made a slight change
“We’ve made a slight change to our rec room.”
“We find this works much
“We find this works much better than inspirational posters.”
“Welcome back home, son. We
“Welcome back home, son. We haven’t changed a thing in your room since you left for college.”
“I hate to cut you short but
“I hate to cut you short but I have to get up early tomorrow.”
“Well, it’s not as if I’m
“Well, it’s not as if I’m dropping the hammer on you.”
“Don’t be concerned,it’s an
“Don’t be concerned, it’s an old blade, it never hurt anyone seriously.”
And here’s how we enforce our
And here’s how we enforce our new zero tolerance policy on sexual harassment.
“Yes, Vasectomies have come a
“Yes, Vasectomies have come a long way, but I’m still old-school!”
“I used to have a head of
“I used to have a head of hair like you too, but I’ve got the hang of it now!”
“I can’t tell you how many
“I can’t tell you how many close shaves I’ve had with just one blade!”
“And you get to keep the
“And you get to keep the basket!”
“For your last Deli School
“For your last Deli School final exam test, I’d like a half-pound of corned beef, sliced thin!”
“Sure, two out of three seems
“Sure, two out of three seems fair to me!”
“No, please, I insist, you go
“No, please, I insist, you go first!”
“Hannibal, you kill me!”
“Hannibal, you kill me!”
“You’re killing me Smalls!”
“You’re killing me Smalls!”
“Absolutely, our first weight
“Absolutely, our first weight loss treatment guarantees you’ll lose at least eight pounds, or your money back!”
“We’ll see?” “My personal
“We’ll see?” “My personal best is nine in one try!”
“When I was a kid I got them
“When I was a kid I got them all in bucket #1 on Bozo’s Circus TV show!”
“After were done here, I’ll
“After were done here, I’ll take you bowling in the basement!”
“Let me give you a little
“Let me give you a little heads-up about my daughter, son!”
“This headcheese recipe has
“This headcheese recipe has been in our family for years!”
…and now, Human Resources.
…and now, Human Resources.
Thanks for your caption, Alex
Thanks for your caption, Alex, but it arrived after the Tuesday midnight deadline, so it couldn’t be considered. I hope you try again in the future, and please observe the deadlines.
Eli
All you have to do is go
All you have to do is go around the square figure, kneel down, and look in the basket to see the magic happen.
Funny caption, Stephanie, but
Funny caption, Stephanie, but each Caption Contest runs for one week only, so your submission is more than a year too late to be considered. The same goes for the other 3 captions you sent for other past contests, which I’m not going to post. Thanks, and I hope you’ll be submitting captions for the Contests in the one-week allotted time frame.