Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 122

Contest No. 122 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest.  This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, August 22, 2017.  

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. I never had a wife and
    I never had a wife and children. This woman advertised that she wanted a husband and asked $10,000, and would take her wonderful children as well. Please loan me $10,000.

  2. “Have you seen the price of
    “Have you seen the price of lobster rolls lately?”

    “We can afford the clothes, it’s the vacation that’s the problem.”

  3. I told them you bought a big
    I told them you bought a big bond pool with my retirement account. Now they want in!

  4. You can loan them Monday to
    You can loan them Monday to Friday but Saturday and Sunday they come home with me.

  5. “I’d like to leave them here
    “I’d like to leave them here as collateral so I can take a vacation by myself.”

  6. “It was either a loan for my
    “It was either a loan for my heart operation or a cruise to the Bahamas…The family chose the cruise.”

  7. “If I can’t get a loan, can
    “If I can’t get a loan, can we come over to your house in Sundays to use your pool?”

  8. “This default clause about
    “This default clause about “first born male child” seem a bit harsh”!

  9. “Can I substitute my mother
    “Can I substitute my mother-in-law for the “first born
    child” clause in case of default, she’s in the car”!

  10. They’re following me
    They’re following me everywhere waiting for me to say “Marco” so they can say “Polo”.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).