Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 121

Contest No. 121 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest.  This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week (two weeks for this Contest No. 121 only), after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

For this Contest No. 121 only, the cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, August 1, 2017 — two weeks from today. 

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. “Imagine that . . .my wife
    “Imagine that . . .my wife put a gag order on our pending divorce!”

  2. Then the defendant said to me
    Then the defendant said to me, “So who died and made you Superior, Judge”!?

  3. Now put your right foot in.
    Now put your right foot in. Your right foot out. Right foot in. Then you shake it all about.

  4. “I took three bribes today.
    “I took three bribes today. You could say it was an inferior court.”

  5. “This job was made for me. I
    “This job was made for me. I’ve always felt superior over others.”

  6. “A six month of trial and all
    “A six month of trial and all the jury could come back with was, ‘We decided we don’t want to butt in!'”

  7. I can see the newspaper
    I can see the newspaper headlines now — Houdini and Son escape again.

  8. “Nothing changes, it’s just
    “Nothing changes, it’s just like grade school…Recess is the best part of the day.”

  9. “You have to hand out harsher
    “You have to hand out harsher sentences, but don’t worry about it…You’ll get the hang of it.”

  10. “I caught the defendant
    “I caught the defendant pocketing my mallet…so I added ten years to his sentence.”

  11. “Those bald English judges
    “Those bald English judges have it good. They get to cover their heads with a white wig.”

  12. “I’ve been sitting on the
    “I’ve been sitting on the bench for twenty five years, and believe me…my butt is sore!”

  13. “My new bailiff isn’t working
    “My new bailiff isn’t working out. Instead of announcing, ‘All rise’ he says, ‘Here come the judge, here come the judge.'”

  14. “It’s not that we ARE better,
    “It’s not that we ARE better, it’s that they all think we are.”

  15. “I think he was innocent but
    “I think he was innocent but my daughter is tired dating him”

  16. “I’ll miss that case- I’ve
    “I’ll miss that case- I’ve been dragging it out since I was twenty-six.”

  17. “How was my day? I’d tell you
    “How was my day? I’d tell you, but then I’d have to charge you.”

  18. “I’ve got to stop taking
    “I’ve got to stop taking bribes. That’s the fifth time I had to recuse myself this week!’

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).