Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 112

Contest No. 112 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, January 17, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. “Can I write that down as a
    “Can I write that down as a ‘strong’ opinion regarding opinion polls at 5am?”

  2. Do you agree that more women
    Do you agree that more women should enter politics, control household finances, and earn equal status with men?

  3. Are you marry? And if you are
    Are you married? And, if you are single, are you looking for a single woman who asks questions?

  4. 1.”Normally there are no
    1.”Normally there are no right or wrong answers, but in your case, they’re all wrong.”

    2. “I’ve never said this before, but in your case, I think you should keep your opinions to yourself.”

    3. “Ironically, I’ve never asked my husband his opinion on anything.”

    4. “But Honey, I only took this job because you said I never ask you your opinion on anything.”

    5. “Do I look fat in this dress?”

  5. “Is there anything else you
    “Is there anything else you have an opinion on other than you don’t like my perfume?”

  6. 1. Pretend I’m your wife!
    1. Pretend I’m your wife! Now what’s your opinion!

    2. Can I quote you on that?

    3. Do you think anyone really cares about your opinions?

    4. Would you be willing to take a short survey after this

    5. And last, how many boxes of girl-scout cookies can I
    put you down for?

  7. 1. You want fries with that?
    1. You want fries with that?

    2. Publishers Clearing House wants to know why you won’t
    buy anything?

    3. Well, is the head opinion maker of the household home?

    4. That sounds more like a threat than a opinion!

    5. Well, when was the last time you did have one?

  8. 1. “Perhaps you should finish
    1. “Perhaps you should finish this in a confessional box.”

    2. “Do you have any other opinion besides ‘It’s either my way or the highway’?”

    3. “OK, now you hold the clipboard and I’ll tell you what I think about you!”

    4. “You’re bald, cantankerous, and downright unpleasant. Now, for your opinions.”

    5. “You sure you want to admit to that? I also work for the I.R.S.”

  9. “Your right, your opinions
    “You’re right, your opinions are none of my business. But making tens bucks an hour for asking, is.”

  10. “Do you have any other
    “Do you have any other opinions besides ‘I’m mad and I’m not going to take it anymore?'”

  11. What do you mean, you don’t
    What do you mean, you don’t care whether Donald Trump’s hair is a wig or not?

  12. 1. Would you care to
    1. Would you care to elaborate on that!
    2. Are you happy, sad or glad?
    3. I’m not on your lawn!
    4. Your neighbors said you love solicitors!
    5. Why is your wife laughing so hard?

  13. “You’ve improved this year.
    “You’ve improved this year. Actually, .000000013 percent of the population agrees with you.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).