Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 111

Contest No. 111 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 27, 2016.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.


  1. “I donated $10,000 to the
    “I donated $10,000 to the campaign and I haven’t even been offered one ore devours yet.”

  2. “You’re throwing a wonderful
    “You’re throwing a wonderful inauguration party, but when are they passing out the ‘Make America Great Again’ caps?”

  3. Madam, you have some nerve
    Madam, you have some nerve asking me to go to bed with you when I’m sitting next to my wife.

  4. “For $10,000 a plate I
    “For $10,000 a plate I expected the entertainment to be better than Pee Wee Herman and Menudo.”

  5. “Rita, I’d like you to meet
    “Rita, I’d like you to meet my new wife. By the way, how’s my million dollars doing?”

  6. “I was going to wait till
    “I was going to wait till after the ball dropped, but since your here…I want a divorce.”

  7. 1. “You’re just missing one
    1. “You’re just missing one thing…PEANUTS!

    2. “Out with the old year, in with the new year…If you get my drift.

    3. “Why don’t you two have a nice chat while I call my divorce lawyer.”

    4. “You’d be surprised how much you both have in common. You both love me for my money.”

    5. “It’s not my fault…I’m just a chick magnet.”

  8. Darling, this young girl
    Darling, this young girl reminds me of you forty years ago without the false teeth, hair dye, and weight gain.

  9. 1.”Remember our policy…’Don
    1.”Remember our policy…’Don’t Ask, Don’t tell.”

    2. “She’s like my private email account…For me to know and you not to not ask.

  10. 1. “Well, you told me not to
    1. “Well, you told me not to fool around at the office Christmas party, so I came here to fool around.”

    2. “This isn’t as bad as it looks…it’s worse!”

    3. “Why do you look so surprised…I’m not”

    4. “It’s just part of my 20 year mid-life crisis.”

    5. “Pull up a chair and join us…in about an hour.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).