Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 102

Contest No. 102 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, June 14, 2016.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. “Pack my bags, Martha. It
    “Pack my bags, Martha. It seems someone informed the news that I’ve been embezzling my bank for the last twenty years.”

  2. “Edna, we’re moving to Norway
    “Edna, we’re moving to Norway. Trump has just been elected America’s next president.”

  3. “Well I’ll be. Trump has just
    “Well I’ll be. Trump has just nominated Putin to be his vice presidential running mate.”

  4. “Mable, I thinks it’s time we
    “Mable, I thinks it’s time we got a flat television…and have sex.”

  5. can’t talk to you now, dear.
    can’t talk to you now, dear. I’m watching that new newsteam, Bruntley and Hinckley.

  6. I fell in love with our
    I fell in love with our mailman because he told me he doesn’t spend all day watching TV.

  7. “Someone at work said they
    “Someone at work said they should have women anchorpersons. Ha, that’ll never happen!”

  8. Let’s compromise. I would
    Let’s compromise. I would watch the news programs from six to seven each evening and you can watch any programs you wish during the other hours.

  9. 1. “Well, that’s a new first.
    1. “Well, that’s a new first. The two male co-anchormen just revealed that they’ve been married for two years.”

    2. “Alice, I’m glad we taped these news programs from the 70’s, so we can replay them now. The news was so much less depressing then.”

    3. “You, me, and television. What more could I ask for?…Just about anything!

    4. “Check this out, Frieda. Anchormen just reporting the news without adding their own personal, insignificant commentaries. What a refreshingly new idea.

    5. “Molly, I told you not to embroider while I’m trying to concentrate on the nightly news. It turns me on!”

    6. “Elvira, what do you say we do something daring tonight?…Order in pizza with hot peppers on top.”

    7. “They say there may be a new cable station that will broadcast news 24/7. Boy, I could retire to watch that all day.”

    8. “This is so boring. I need to watch something exciting. Rachel, where’d you put my old Richard Simmons exercise tapes?”

    9. “Honey, you think our son is right when he says we’ve both really lowered the bar on what entertains us?”

    10. “Gertrude, I just realized something. I’ve been bored the last thirty five years!”

  10. “Yes its true! They are
    “Yes its true! They are saying that for the past five years they’ve made every single story up!”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).