Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 100

Contest No. 100 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, May 3, 2016.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. Are you the Ring Master of
    Are you the Ring Master of this domain, and will you not hesitate to whip this place into shape?

  2. “You realize dandelions don’t
    “You realize dandelions don’t respond the same way as actual lions, right?”

    “That Indiana Jones fantasy never leaves you, does it?”

    “Hey, what happens in the bedroom happens in the bedroom, but maybe keep it out of the back yard?”

    “I fantasize about being an elephant tamer, myself.”

  3. I don’t think you realize
    I don’t think you realize that you’re holding the world’s most poisonous snake!!!!

  4. Are you sure your Dominatrix
    Are you sure your Dominatrix lady friend said-she`d like you to Whip your Grass.

  5. That cane is perfect for a 9
    That cane is perfect for a 9 foot basketball player who can’t walk straight.

  6. “I see you finally found a
    “I see you finally found a way to keep the neighborhood kids off your lawn.”

  7. “I assume you’re trying to
    “I assume you’re trying to remind me to return your lawnmower.”

  8. “You’ve disproved that good
    “You’ve disproved that good fences make good neighbors”

  9. “I guess you’ll be replacing
    “I guess you’ll be replacing your ‘Beware of Dog’ sign now.”

  10. “They say if you talk nice to
    “They say if you talk nice to your flowers they actually grow.”

  11. Hey neighbor, do you realize
    Hey neighbor, do you realize that you are not holding a
    garden hose?

  12. “So when are you going to
    “So when are you going to return the bullwhip and the lawnmower you borrowed?”

  13. “Neither rain, nor snow, nor
    “Neither rain, nor snow, nor sleet, nor hail shall keep the postmen away…but that thing will.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).