Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 96

“Miss Moneypenny, please send the following memo to my boss: you’re a moron

                                               and your wife is fat.”

                                               (by mel tanenbaum)


My original caption: “Miss Nagle, please hold all phone calls.”


Yes, it’s a first time win for mel tanenbaum! Congtratulations, mel — you are now officially one of the funniest people around, so you can bask in the glory of your victory.

Lots of good entries to choose from this time. Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Cancel all my meetings . . . forever!” (by Cary Antebi)

“I think this ‘Casual Friday’ thing has gone far enough.” (also by Cary Antebi)

“Sharon, could you call in the attorneys for a few questions? Thanks.” (by John Platt)

“I know, I know! Just let me check this last voicemail.” (by Brendan Powers). I thought this was an exceptionally funny entry, by the way, and I almost declared the contest a tie, but finally decided that mel’s caption was slightly better.

“Helen, I thought I told you to cancel my appointment to meet my maker.” (also by Cary Antebi)

“Brenda, will you please validate parking for my guest’s pale horse?” (by kelasher)


Hope you’re having fun thinking up these captions . . . because that’s what it’s all about! The next contest should be up in a couple of weeks.


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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).