Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 95

Contest No. 95 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, January 19, 2016.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. 1.”No, we cannot make your
    1.”No, we cannot make your Apple Cloud burst.”

    2. “I think we’ll pass on your jingle suggestion for our company…’Rain, rain, go away, come again another day.'”

    3.”Boss, it’s Macy’s. They said, ‘Don’t rain on my parade.'”

    4.”Hail and sleet will cost you an extra $2000.”

    5. “We have a special today…three claps of thunder for the price of one

  2. My ex-husband is putting a
    My ex-husband is putting a roof on his new house in a few days. Can you have a hurricane at his house tomorrow?

  3. It is nice to hear from you,
    It is nice to hear from you, Lawrence of Arabia. I’m sorry you are thirsty, but we don’t fly to the Sahara Desert.

  4. Thanks for holding — we’ve
    Thanks for holding — we’ve been flooded with calls.

    We’re good to the last drop.

    Ok. Look for it sometime between 8 and 2.

    Problem, boss: our rain in Spain stayed mainly in the plane.

  5. “Sorry, as an equal
    “Sorry, as an equal opportunity rainfall company,we cannot allow the customer to choose who or who does not receive our rainfall.”

  6. Sorry. I know you
    Sorry. I know you manufactures umbrellas, but it’s not ethical for me to create a storm to help your business.

  7. God, don’t be angry at us.
    God, don’t be angry at us. All we cause is a little rain. You still are the guy who causes hurricanes and tornadoes.

  8. “Really? You’re the first
    “Really? You’re the first amusement park that’s called for our services!”

  9. “Your petunias? I suggest you
    “Your petunias? I suggest you just pick up a watering can at your local hardware store?”

  10. I’m sorry that you lost your
    I’m sorry that you lost your crops because they over-soaked. My pilot was drunk that day.

  11. 1. “Yes mom, I promise to
    1. “Yes mom, I promise to wear my galoshes.”

    2. “Your lawn? I think we would be a little overkill.”

    3. “No, we don’t do acid rain…and by the way, that’s not a hallucinogenic downpour.”

    4. ” You want an example of our work? Have you ever seen the Great Lakes. They were a desert before we got on site.”

    5. “We leave 40 days and 40 nights for a Higher Power.”

  12. The sign that you made for me
    The sign that you made for me is wrong. It should say “You pay even if we fail.”

  13. Mom, my psychiatrist gave me
    Mom, my psychiatrist gave me the desk, the telephone , the sign, and my hat and jacket. He said I’d be happy if I believed that I had an important job.

  14. 1. “I’m sorry, we don’t offer
    1. “I’m sorry, we don’t offer any rain dates.”

    2. “Forty days and forty nights? We haven’t had a request for that in a looooong time.”

    3. “Are we good?” Before us, the ‘The Rain Forrest’ was just called ‘The Forrest.'”

    4. “That’s an order for forty days and nights, starting next Tuesday. We suggest you start building an arc as soon as you hang up.”

    5. “If it rains before we come, we’ll give you a rain date.

    6. “You want, ‘My husband is a lazy bum?’ I think you want Skywriters, Inc.”

    7. “We offer lower rates if you provide your own clouds.”

    8. “Hold your water. The earliest appointment I can give you is in three months.”

    9. “Oh, our liquid assets are just fine.”

    10. “Well doc, ever since I took this new job, I’ve been getting up four or five times each night to go to the bathroom.”

  15. Sorry, I can’t guarantee that
    Sorry, I can’t guarantee that we can have a cloud just send rain on your 5 foot by 3 foot garden.

  16. ” Sorry to inform you that we
    ” Sorry to inform you that we are being forced out of business by a higher authority.”

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).