Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 90

Contest No. 90 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, October 6, 2015.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.



  1. We’ve been waiting for
    We’ve been waiting for service for the last two days. We’re losing our patience and we’re hungry.

  2. Waiter, I specifically asked
    Waiter, I specifically asked for a table by the attractive people!

    Waiter, bring me a more interesting dinner guest!

  3. 1. “OK, you win. Forget about
    1. “OK, you win. Forget about the fly in my soup and just bring it back.”

    2. “You call this five star service! It’s more like a black hole!”

  4. Don`t be alarmed at the noise
    Don`t be alarmed at the noise, we`re going to have a when Harry met Sally moment

  5. “What’s the catch of the day,
    “What’s the catch of the day, and I mean today…not yesterday when we first arrived?”

  6. I can’t believe that you
    I can’t believe that you refuse to talk to your sister because she’s at another waiter’s table..

  7. For the last ten years you’ve
    For the last ten years you’ve been my doctor, and now I find that you are a waiter.

  8. -“Parsley… can we at least
    -“Parsley… can we at least get some parsley here!?”

    -“When you took our order two hours ago, where did you take it to…Afghanistan?”

    -“When the Michelin Guide rated you five stars, they must have been referring to your boss’s tires”

  9. – “I can get an appointment
    – “I can get an appointment with my doctor faster than I can get a meal here!”

    – “I’d like a check please. At this point I’ll eat anything!”

    – “Just grab two hot dogs off of the street cart out front and bring them here.”

  10. “Are you aware that I had a
    “Are you aware that I had a full head of hair when you seated us? Can you at least let us know who won the 2012 presidential election?”

  11. I’ve been searching for you
    I’ve been searching for you for the last 5 years. At last I found my sister. And you’ve become a waiter.

  12. Ye God. I finally found you-
    Ye God. I finally found you- my identical twin brother. How come you don’t look like me any more?

  13. I just counted 743 tables in
    I just counted 743 tables in this restaurant and you’re the only waiter. Something isn’t right.

  14. The 4 people at the table
    The 4 people at the table next to us just said that you’re a lousy waiter. Is that true?

  15. This is the first time I’ve
    This is the first time I’ve been to a McDonald’s where there’s a waiter.

  16. – “Tell the chef I retract my
    – “Tell the chef I retract my compliment.”

    – “I hate being ignored on an empty stomach.”

    – “Just because you’re a starving actor doesn’t mean we have to be starving too.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).