Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 84

Contest No. 84 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, May 26, 2015.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. And here is the result of our
    And here is the result of our work: We have mathematically proven that we need more funding.

  2. Jack, I just finished
    Jack, I just finished interpreting the symbols. It means tomorrow the weather will be 90 degrees and it will snow.

  3. “Well Fred, I must say you
    “Well Fred, I must say you have a unique approach to teaching English Composition.”

  4. “As you can see, my
    “As you can see, my calculations have proven that we need a bigger chalkboard.”

  5. I’m not certain here, but
    I’m not certain here, but doesn’t two plus three equal “five”???

  6. “While the kids are at recess
    “While the kids are at recess, I thought this would be a good time to bring up the idea that you may be overqualified.”

  7. “Amazing!.. You’ve managed to
    “Amazing!.. You’ve managed to do all this without making one sound of chalk scraping on a blackboard.”

  8. 1. “You do realize, don’t you
    1. “You do realize, don’t you, that an app already exists for this?”

    2. “You say, the cleaning lady left this on the board last night after cleaning the room?!”

    3. “Explain to me again how this is a better mouse trap.”

    4. “Coach, I’m afraid your quarter back is going to have a hard time calling your plays in the huddle.”

    5. “Personally, I could have told you your wife wears a 34 D cup just by looking at her.”

  9. 1. “A simple yes or no would
    1. “A simple yes or no would have been sufficient.”

    2. “And that, my friend, is why there’s never a cab when you need one.”

    3. “Only you could manage to make Sex Ed. boring.”

  10. “And this is definitive proof
    “And this is definitive proof that kids these days don’t know how easy they have it.”

  11. Oh shoot, I forgot to divide
    Oh shoot, I forgot to divide by two. Please tell the President to cancel the missile launch.

  12. Mr. Nash I don’t want to
    Mr. Nash I don’t want to insult you, but after examining your formulas I think your as nutty as a fruitcake.

  13. It’s hard to believe that we
    It’s hard to believe that we’re looking at the original
    blueprint of the invention of “popcorn”,

  14. 1. “Nah, I think we’ll just
    1. “Nah, I think we’ll just go with E=mc2”

    2. “Now, how do we turn this into an interesting infomercial?”

    3. “Get this immediately digitized into your computer. The pen may be mightier than the sword, but the eraser is mightier than the chalk.”

    4. “It’s hilarious. Where did you get your sense of humor?”

    5. It’s brilliant. It should be a warning label on every bag of Twinkies.”

    6. “Can’t you be like everyone else and just close your eyes and pick a paper out of the company’s Kentucky Derby Pool?”

    7. “Great Bachelor Party, Professor Higgins.”

    9. “Congratulations!…You’ve final proved you’re a certified nerd!

    10. “Your dog did this?! Too bad it’s too late to get him on David Letterman’s Stupid Pet Trick.”

  15. “You’re not the only one in
    “You’re not the only one in awe of it. That’s why I call it my Theory of Intimidation.”

  16. 1. “I don’t know if it’s
    1. “I don’t know if it’s quite catchy enough, Mr. Lucas. Why don’t we just go with ‘R-2 D-2?'”

    2. “Perhaps you should follow another dream other than writing greeting cards for Hallmark.”

    3. “If you want to pick up girls, you’re gonna have to come up with better pick-up lines.”

  17. Before my Realistic Period I
    Before my Realistic Period I went through my Blue Period and before that I did drawings like this. It was my Wacko Period.

  18. The math is straightforward,
    The math is straightforward, but cleaning the board gets to me every time

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *


Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).