Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 83

Contest No. 83 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, May 5, 2015.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. . . . And in our newest
    . . . And in our newest category, the Equality Awards, the woman who has always been my right hand man . . .

  2. This is my wife, Judy. She is
    This is my wife, Judy. She is about to hand me the divorce papers.

  3. I don`t mind my wife wearing
    I don`t mind my wife wearing the trousers in our realationship but I`m not happy with her wearing my Toupee.

  4. This is my secretary, Fammy.
    This is my secretary, Fammy. I intend to fire her after this dinner.

  5. Our complaints department
    Our complaints department chairwoman on my left will now entertain “manly” questions!

  6. “And now I’ll bring up Sharon
    “And now I’ll bring up Sharon who has the financial report from last month to share with us. Translation: Bathroom break!”

  7. “And now, I introduce the
    “And now, I introduce the candidate most responsible for breaking the glass ceiling for woman in politics…as well as our kitchen extension…my wife, Rita.”

  8. 1. “By the look of that stack
    1. “By the look of that stack of papers, it looks like we’ll be running very late tonight.”

    2. “And now with a very loooong rebuttal, our chairwoman.”

    3. “It looks like last week’s minutes are going to take hours to read.”

    3. “It looks like our next speaker has a nice rack…I mean stack!”

  9. “And now my favorite little
    “And now my favorite little woman – President Helen Nagle.”

  10. I am proud to introduce John
    I am proud to introduce John Fafushnick who will discuss Gender Confusion

  11. “Our next speaker is here to
    “Our next speaker is here to talk about sexual harassment, which is something that I wish I had known before I asked what she was doing after tonight’s meeting.”

  12. And now my wife will happily
    And now my wife will happily hand out blank sheets of paper to everyone here for our 1st annual Categories game. As a special surprise, I nominate her to lead this fun, relaxing activity.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).