Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 81

Contest No. 81 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, March 24, 2015.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. Higgens, Before the word “you
    Higgens, Before the word “you” there seems to be the letters “F” and a “C”, but with two asterisks in between . . Is the staff’s typewriter broken again?

  2. I don’t appreciate your first
    I don’t appreciate your first suggestion that I should be fired.

  3. They`ve all been written by
    They`ve all been written by my Mother in Law,she never could spell-Rezign.

  4. “This one’s pretty
    “This one’s pretty affirmative. He starts off saying, ‘I’m not asking you, I’m telling you.'”

  5. “…..run these by Legal, H.R
    “…..run these by Legal, H.R., Sensitivity Training, Politically Correct, Self-Esteem, Personal Issues, Personal Space, Entitlement, Malaise, Disenfranchised, Sullen, and Malcontent departments. If any survive, we’ll use one.”

  6. “…I’m afraid this one would
    “…I’m afraid this one would require me to be double jointed.”

  7. “………..this one has me
    “………..this one has me puzzled? I didn’t ride in on a horse.”

  8. “What a bunch of crybabies! I
    “What a bunch of crybabies! I suggest we dump these and pretend this meeting never happened.”

  9. “Pizza every Thursday sounds
    “Pizza every Thursday sounds great! Start docking everyone’s paycheck to pay for it.”

  10. Boss: “This one says ‘FIRE
    Boss: “This one says ‘FIRE MARVIN!’. Who is this Marvin?”
    Employee: “Umm, I’m Marvin Mr. Jacobs.”

  11. 1. “Try the sole Florentine.”
    1. “Try the sole Florentine.”

    2. “Next time we do this with emails so we can delete them all with just one push of a button.”

    3.”They all have the same signature…and it’s yours!”

  12. “…………..I bet we could
    “…………..I bet we could actually categorize these by generation.”

  13. Muchnik, as a result of your
    Muchnik, as a result of your suggestion that we eliminate rest rooms Ive ordered a psychiatrist to see you.

  14. “Roses are red. Violets are
    “Roses are red. Violets are blue. The woman in the corner office has a crush on you.”

  15. Muchnik, you wear a suit and
    Muchnik, you wear a suit and you act like your my assistant. Don’t you know your the cleaning man!!

  16. Muchnik, this suggestion says
    Muchnik, this suggestion says our brand new soda should not be called Coca Cola.

  17. “…..some of these captions
    “…..some of these captions are very clever,….which ones do you like?”

  18. 1. “Says,’I wouldn’t change a
    1. “Says,’I wouldn’t change a thing about this company and it’s management.’ Ferguson, give this man the ‘Brown Nose Award of the Year.”

    2. “Your fly is open.”

  19. “…..We need to clean this
    “…..We need to clean this out more often: this one suggests we look into some new fangled machines that have keyboards, monitors, invisible files, and talk to each other.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).