Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 77

Contest No. 77 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, December 16, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. I can’t believe you’re
    I can’t believe you’re arguing that neither of you wants me after your divorce!!!!!

  2. 1. “OK, nobody’s leaving
    1. “OK, nobody’s leaving anybody here until I get my dinner.”

    2. “Guys, keep in mind there’s nobody out there that would ever want either one of you.”

    3. “I don’t care if you break up…just make sure that I get to keep the iguana.”

    4. “And you’ve got the nerve to tell ME never to say *@%!@$#?!”

    5. “Who’s this guy Al Imony you’re arguing about?”

    6. “Let’s get reaaaady to rumble!”

    7. Does it really matter so much if the toilet seat is left up or down?”

  3. Please don’t argue just
    Please don’t argue just because mom told you I was the result of her affair with the milkman!!!

  4. “Let’s just agree that Tom
    “Let’s just agree that Tom Baker and David Tennant were both excellent Doctors.”

  5. 1. “OK, why don’t you just
    1. “OK, why don’t you just fire the chauffer and French maid and call it even.”

    2. “I take it back…I didn’t see mommy kissing Santa Claus.”

    3. “Maybe it’s just a coincidence that we have the same mailman in NYC that we had in LA.”

    4. “Why don’t you just give me ten bucks to work this out, and save yourselves $200 for a trip to the marriage counselor?”

    5. “Mom, dad, you’re scaring me…I never saw you this happy with each other?”

  6. Dad,Why are you so upset
    Dad,Why are you so upset because you told the sales lady you don’t want to buy Viagra from her?

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).