Contest No. 72 starts right now.
Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old
There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, September 2, 2014.
I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.
Below is the drawing that needs your caption.
22 Comments
Stop standing there and don
Stop standing there and do something to get me out of here!
It’s so nice to see you. But
It’s so nice to see you. But whos watching the store?
1. “I see a long dark tunnel
1. “I see a long dark tunnel with a light at the end…What a waste of electricity.”
2. “I was bouncing back until I saw the hospital bill.”
3. “If it’s contagious, get my no good brother-in-law here.”
4. “My only regret is that I could have saved 15% on my car insurance.”
5. “I just cut you both out of my will. I haven’t felt this good in years.”
6. I’m leaving all my money to the nurse. She’s the only one who ever fluffed up my pillow.”
Which one of you is from
Which one of you is from Valet Parking?
Someone’s stepping on my IV.
Someone’s stepping on my IV.
Someone’s standing on my
Someone’s standing on my catheter line.
Who’s standing on my catheter
Who’s standing on my catheter?
“Can we just take one last
“Can we just take one last selfie?”
“Nurse, I said bring me a
“Nurse, I said bring me a sedative, not a relative.”
1. “Finally, a foursome. When
1. “Finally, a foursome. When do we tee off?”
2. “You think this is sad? Wait till you read my will.”
3. “I always told you that I would go first. Now nurse, get me a bed pan.”
It was the damn ED pill!
It was the damn ED pill!
Another “sad” reject from the
Another “sad” reject from the VA!
Get the hell out of here. I
Get the hell out of here. I’m missing the Jerry Springer Show.
“Ted, I’m leaving you my
“Ted, I’m leaving you my business and my wife. I also told the nurse to keep my hospital bed warm for you.”
1. “Why Edna, I haven’t seen
1. “Why Edna, I haven’t seen you this sad since you said “I do.”
2. “Nurse, I said bring me my enema, not my enemies.”
3. “I’ll see you on the other side… of the bed, just the bed!”
4. “It’s true, ‘Where there’s a will, there’s a way,’ and I figured out a way to cut you out of my will.”
5. ” Mildred, I’m sorry I was such a work-a-holic, but it was either that or spend more time with you.
6. “Nurse, for my entire adult life I supported my brother and wife, and now they want to take me off life support!”
7. “Nurse, meet my cheating wife and her lover. I’ve called them here to tell them I’m deathly contagious..*cough*.”
8. “I’m fading. Quick, tell me which one of you is Moe, Larry, or Curly?”
9. “Harry, you can have my wife…Just remember, there’s no cure.”
10. “I’ve prepared for this moment and I’m ready to go. Nurse, bring me my bed pan.”
We came to tell you that the
We came to tell you that the officials have decided to give you a 500 yard handicap in tomorrows NYC Marathon race.
Sweetheart, I’m standing with
Sweetheart, I’m standing with the man I want to marry after we get a divorce. Could you be our best man?
I know the nurse, but who the
I know the nurse, but who the hell are you two?
Doctor Shmutz, I am enjoying
Doctor Shmutz, I am enjoying my freedom lying in bed. Why did you bring my miserable wife to visit me?
Doctor Shmutz, I’m here
Doctor Shmutz, I’m here because I have a bad cold. Why did you assign this nurse to me when she’s a specialist in proctology?
Dr. Schmutz I know you’re
Dr. Schmutz I know you’re standing next to my wife, but can you arrange for me to go home with the nurse?
1. “Et tu Bruce, Tess?”
1. “Et tu Bruce, Tess?”
2. “Et tu Bro, Tess?”
3. “I only regret that I have but one life to give for my HMO…NOT!”