Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 71

Contest No. 71 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, August 12, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. 1. Best part, made in USA.”
    1. Best part, made in USA.”

    2. “You break, you buy. You buy, I give break.”

    3. “Of course it’s made in China. Do you know anything that isn’t?”

    4. “It’s the only one of it’s kind. You buy now, I give you two for the price of one.”

    5. “It comes from Emperor Mings’s brother-in-law. Genuine Schwartz Dynasty vase.”

  2. 1.”For you, one million yen.
    1.”For you, one million yen. You pay American dollar…a buck thirty five.”

    2. This not from Ming Dynasty. This from Ebay Dynasty.”

    3. “This cheap knockoff. You no tell wife, I no tell wife.”

    4. Popular Chinese TV show: “Prawn Stars”

  3. I know you’re asking $7,000
    I know you’re asking $7,000,000 for this 3rd Century vase. I want it but I lost my job 6 months ago, I’m being evicted tomorrow. All I can offer you is $3,000,000.

  4. “Please ignore the ‘I am
    “Please ignore the ‘I am being held prisoner in a Chinese vase factory’ message on the bottom.”

  5. I would like to buy your 12th
    I would like to buy your 12th Century vase, but would you mind if I drop it to make sure it won’t break?

  6. M. Ming, you tell me this
    M. Ming, you tell me this ancient vase has the ashes of Confucius, but I see a partially burned cigarette label that says Lucky Strike

  7. 1. “Would you like it shipped
    1. “Would you like it shipped or just broken here?”

    2. “Genuine knock-off.”

    3. “Comes with ancient Chinese curse…33% tax.”

    4. “Sorry, I don’t know what inscription says. It’s all Chinese to me.”

    5. “Genuine Ming Dynasty vase, outsourced from Butte Montana.”

  8. 1. “I suggest you don’t hold
    1. “I suggest you don’t hold that antique vase too long. It just came out of the kiln.”

    2. “On sale for ‘Chinese Year of the Sucker.'”

  9. 1. “Be very careful. In here,
    1. “Be very careful. In here, every one is a bull in a China shop.”

    2. Super rare. Not only personal vase of Emperor Ming…also signed by Michael Jordan!”

    3. “You buy now, I throw in ashes free.”

    4. “Very expensive. Ming the Calvin Kline of his day.”

    5. “You no find cheaper anywhere…except, of course, on Ebay, Amazon, Daily Deal, Priceline, etc., etc.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).