Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No.69

Contest No. 69 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, July 1, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. “Your dining room light is
    “Your dining room light is out.”

    “I’m citing you for speeding and for making me walk this far.”

  2. 1. “Let me see your licence,
    1. “Let me see your license, registration, and mortgage.”

    2. “Relax, I’m not giving you a ticket. I just need to use your bathroom.”

  3. Sorry to bother you. I’m
    Sorry to bother you. I’m going on vacation and want to know if you think if I bought a trailer like yours I could pull it with my motorcycle.

  4. 1. “I’m giving you a ticket
    1. “I’m giving you a ticket for driving without a lawn.”

    2. “I’ve seen a ‘Motel 6’ move faster than you.”

  5. “Actually I’m not sure I can
    “Actually I’m not sure I can give you a ticket because your car is now in New York even though your trailer is in Jersey.”

  6. “Did you leave the glee club
    “Did you leave the glee club and the dog at the rest stop by accident or on purpose?”

  7. Running out of gasoline is no
    Running out of gasoline is no excuse for blocking the road and obscuring the scenery. Therefore, you have incurred a fine and penalty.

  8. 1. “Not exactly roughing it,
    1. “Not exactly roughing it, are you?”

    2. “You were going 1.2 miles a gallon in a 15 mile a gallon zone.”

    3. “A Harley did it for me, but you must be going through one major mid-life crisis.”

    4. “You’re the biggest catch of the day.”

    5. “Just be happy we don’t ticket by the pound.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).