Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 68

Contest No. 68 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, June 10, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. 1. “I think he’s having an
    1. “I think he’s having an affair. He came home with a cut over his eye.”

    2. “I think he’s having an affair. We never fight anymore.”

  2. “He’s not in his corner.”
    “He’s not in his corner.”

    “We never not fight any more.”

    “If he brings home the ring girl I’m leaving.”

  3. When will the doctors release
    When will the doctors release you from the Emergency Room? Darling, no more four letter words when sparring, please.

  4. “Don’t be late, Big Jane and
    “Don’t be late, Big Jane and I are fighting tonight”

  5. 1. “I’m glad he’s the champ.
    1. “I’m glad he’s the champ. I just wish he wouldn’t bring his work home with him.”

    2. “Oh, we’re way beyond ‘agreeing to disagree.'”

    3. “It’s just terrible, mom…I haven’t won a round in six weeks.”

    4. “Harry’s come up with a new way to deal with those pesky door-to-door salesmen.”

    5. “I’m regretting I convinced Harold to start expressing his emotions.”

    6. “On the bright side, Ed definitely isn’t ignoring me anymore.”

    7. “Our marriage is going downhill. Fred used to be able to go 12 rounds. Now I’m lucky if he lasts one.”

    8. I found blood on his collar. I think he’s fighting with someone else.”

    9. Sam hasn’t been home for days and I’m getting worried… I’m getting out of shape.”

    10. “Mom, I’m so sad. We never wrestle anymore.”

  6. “Gotta get off the phone,
    “Gotta get off the phone, Phil’s home. I can hear him shouting, ‘Get reaaaady to rumble.'”

  7. 1. “With Harvey it’s just
    1. “With Harvey it’s just ‘Wham Bam Thank You Ma’am!'”

    2. “Our match was not made in heaven.”

    3. “”Sorry we haven’t been able to visit, mom, but you can catch us on pay-per-view next month.”

  8. ‘…and the last thing I said
    ‘…and the last thing I said to him was “one more bout and yer out!!!”

  9. Bob, I won’t be putting the
    Bob, I won’t be putting the gloves on today… I retired !”

  10. Hello ! I’m sorry he did is
    Hello! I’m sorry he did his last round. He got his life knocked out of him.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).