Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 67

Contest No. 67 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, May 20, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. The only good thing is that
    The only good thing is that your graffiti has only been found on the walls of abandoned buildings.

  2. “You want to be an artist?
    “You want to be an artist? Trust me, kid, I’ve seen your work and I’m not impressed.”

  3. 1. “I vouched for you with
    1. “I vouched for you with the principal. Now don’t disappoint me.”

    2. “What do you have to say for yourself?”

  4. Do i need to keep you in my
    Do I need to keep you in my office so you can’t put your painting anywhere?

  5. My office is the only place
    My office is the only place where you have not put your stupid graffiti

  6. “Why can’t you get your kicks
    “Why can’t you get your kicks like everyone else and just take drugs?”

  7. – “If you want me to help you
    – “If you want me to help you get into Harvard, you’re going to have to show me a little respect.”

    – “Sorry I’m late but there’s some idiot going around spraying ‘Zap’ on everything in his path.”

  8. “On the bright side, your
    “On the bright side, your artistic creativity has greatly improved from painting-by-numbers.”

  9. Awe you again im told to keep
    Aw, you again! I was told to keep my eyes on you. I’m a guidance counselor, not a baby sitter. Well, not on my watch is your graffiti getting anywhere.

  10. “I cant believe you got out
    “I cant believe you got out in the spelling bee on the word ‘graffiti.'”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).