Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 64

Contest No. 64 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, March 11, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. I’ve seen hostile witnesses,
    I’ve seen hostile witnesses, but this is the first time I’ve seen a defendant have a hostile lawyer.”

  2. The prosecutor has called
    The prosecutor has called “Neener neener.” The witness shall be compelled to reply.

  3. As an Orthopedist I want to
    As an Orthopedist I want to congratulate you for your wonderful, non-arthritic arm.

    (This accidental “anonymous” has revealed himself to be Howard Garrett)

  4. Objection sustained. The jury
    Objection sustained. The jury is instructed that statements such as “nanny nanny boo boo” have no bearing on the suspect’s innocence or guilt.

  5. 1. “I do believe the question
    1. “I do believe the question is directed to you.”

    2. “No, you may not ‘Get back to him’ on that.”

    3. “Stop trying to butter up the prosecutor by telling him he has a great manicure.

    4. “What did you expect him to do, make nice?”

    5. “The jury will disregard that last finger.”

  6. “Technically, you’re innocent
    “Technically, you’re innocent until proven guilty, but off the record, I think you’re as guilty as sin.”

  7. 1. “Finger sustained.”
    1. “Finger sustained.”

    2. “Please answer the gesture.”

    3. “By gosh, your right…his nose does seem to have grown a little.”

    4. “Answer the questing. He’s accusing you, not excusing you.”

    5. “Kind of regretting you took the stand, huh?”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).