Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 61

Contest No. 61 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, January 7, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption. I believe this is the first contest drawing to have a “title panel” on top. So the big question is: What is this placid, cool-headed librarian saying (or hearing) on the phone that could possibly cause her to panic?? Have fun with this one, folks — and good luck in the new year!


  1. “Ms. Webster, to avoid any
    “Ms. Webster, to avoid any possible litigation, we are no longer allowed to tell our patrons, ‘Shhhh.'”

  2. “We’ve got DVDs, CDs, Blue
    “We’ve got DVDs, CDs, Blue Rays, MP3 Downloads, and WiFi Stations…but no books.”

  3. “We’ll be closing in 10
    “We’ll be closing in 10 minutes. Please make your final selections and bodily gropings at this time.”

  4. “No, I haven’t been able to
    “No, I haven’t been able to find Hamlet, and I’ve searched our entire cookbook section.”

  5. Oh my God ,Betty- the guy who
    Oh my God ,Betty- the guy who smells like a dead skunk and stays here all day is on his way in.

  6. “Everyone on your best
    “Everyone on your best behavior — Mr. Dewey is on his way here!”

    “You want directions to the libery?”

  7. “So, were you going to be
    “So, were you going to be reading that on an iPad, or a Kindle, or a Nook, or a Kobo, or a Galaxy Tab, or a…”

  8. “What, you’re continuing to
    “What, you’re continuing to stream line and will only be carry the Cliff Notes on all our books?”

  9. “No, this is not the Suicide
    “No, this is not the Suicide Hotline, but I can rescind your over due penalties if it helps you.”

  10. “No, there are no bookies
    “No, there are no bookies here.”

    (Please note, I submitted the above two anonymous entries).

  11. Betty, that guy who smells
    Betty, that guy who smells like a dead skunk has been here eight hours. How do we get him out of here?

  12. What? Now that one library
    What? Now that one library chose to go book-free, we have to all follow that trend???

  13. Do you have any books about
    Do you have any books about how Colombia is the greatest country in the world? I know you’re closing in two minutes. But please can you wait for me. I will be there in five minutes.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).