Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 59

Contest No. 59 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, November  26, 2013.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.


  1. 1. “Well, I could just carve
    1. “Well, I could just carve it off.”

    2. “On the brighter side, you’ve got a heck of a good excuse for not spending the holiday with your relatives.”

    3. “Are you allergic to any condiments?”

    4. “Hopefully the full mutation to human will happen before November 28th.”

    5. “I doubt Obamacare covers this.”

  2. 1. I’ll admit I’m stumped,
    1. I’ll admit I’m stumped, but why don’t you come over to my place tonight and we’ll discuss it further. Say about six?

    2. Have you encountered any angry Gypsies lately?

    3. I may have an idea why you’re always so sleepy.

    4. Turn your head and gobble.

  3. I can get you on my friend Dr
    I can get you on my friend Dr, Oz’s TV Show. Can you at least lay some eggs?

  4. 1. “About your condition…I
    1. “About your condition…I think it’s time we talk turkey.”

    2. “Take two yams and call me in the morning.”

    3. “Have you been feeling wild lately?”

    4. “I’d stay clear of any invitations for dinner until this clears up.”

    5. “I’ve seen this before but never on Columbus Day.”

    6. “Let’s start by taking you off the acne cream.”

    7. “Have you been gobbling with salt water like I told you to?”

    8. “I’d suggest you stay away from ovens until we figure this thing out.”

    9. “I’m going to have to insist on payment before November 28th.”

    10. “I’m afraid your nose isn’t going to be the only thing stuffed soon.”

  5. “Professionally speaking, you
    “Professionally speaking, you’ve been being paid chicken feed for too long.”

  6. – “Wow, and I thought smoking
    – “Wow, and I thought smoking just kills you.”

    – “Weren’t you here last year Christmas as a Pineapple-Glazed Ham?”

    – “I’m sorry, but I don’t have a turkey thermometer on hand.”

    – “You just need a waddle lift.”

    – “Honestly, the best I can do for you is hide you in my attic until Friday.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).