Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 58

Contest No. 58 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, November 5, 2013.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption. Once again, I’m hoping that you can be funnier than I was with my original caption (even though I have to confess that I’m still rather fond of mine).


  1. “Who’s a good little test
    “Who’s a good little test tube? Is it you? Is it you? It is you! Yes, you’re a very good little test tube!”

  2. “Finally, a formula that will
    “Finally, a formula that will provide complete hair restoration! But only during a full moon.”

  3. “Thanks for hiring me to work
    “Thanks for hiring me to work in your laboratory! What are these cute little glass things?”

  4. It’s an earthy bouquet with
    It’s an earthy bouquet with robust overtones of formaldehyde and a gritty finish.

  5. The good news is that there
    The good news is that there is a cure for Alzheimer Disease. The bad news is that the lobotomy removes most of the brain. drmrs 11/3/2013

  6. 1. “Finally, fusion in a test
    1. “Finally, fusion in a test tube…or is this just my urine specimen I misplaced?

    2. “If it turns to green we’ll make millions! If it just stays yellow, it’s just a left over urine specimen.”

    3. “I’ve created life in a test tube! Let’s call it “Sea Monkeys.”

    4. “This discovery will be the biggest boon to mankind! We’ll call it “Silly Putty.”

    5. “It’s colorless, odorless, and tasteless. Let’s call it seltzer.”

    6. “And now the ultimate sacrifice, drinking this potential lethal formula. Quick, Renfro, get over here and down this slush.”

    7. “Finally, a cure for Alzheimer. Now if I can only remember how I concocted this stuff.”

    8. “Finally after years and years of research…I realize I’m an incompetent chemist.”

    9. “This may be the cure for the common cold. Quick, send this down to the lab. Oh wait, we are the lab.”

    10. “Well, there doesn’t seem to be any major side effects…except my husband might not be too thrilled I just lost my breasts.”

  7. “After years, I’ve discovered
    “After years, I’ve discovered the secret formula of Coca- Cola…sugar and water!”

  8. 1. “I’ve just discovered the
    1. “I’ve just discovered the key to immortality. That should get me the key to the executive bathroom.”

    2. “I’ve just captured lightening in a bottle. That and two bucks will get us a ride on the subway.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).