Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 54

Contest No. 54 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, August 13, 2013.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

This is the drawing that needs your caption:


  1. If you get upset just because
    If you get upset just because I bought an. elephant I’ll make sure you won’t complain again.

  2. 1. “The only way you’re
    1. “The only way you’re keeping this NFL cable package is over my dead body.”

    2. “Did you order something from Coffins-R-Us?”

    3. “What do you mean these bills aren’t killing US?”

    4. “I think your anger management therapy is just a waste of money.”

    5. “How are you going to use a season pass to the NY Giants when you have to take me to my mother every Sunday?”

  3. A bill from a country club???
    A bill from a country club???? I told you i will never be a golf widow!!!!

  4. “Put the gun down, Bert, or
    “Put the gun down, Bert, or did you forget you married me for my money?”

    “If you have something to say about my buying a mink coat for $20,000, just come out and say it.”

    “Maybe if you learned how to express your feelings, you wouldn’t have to spend so much money on therapy.”

  5. “We need these bills like a
    “We need these bills like a hole in the head!”

    “Why must I always take care of everything? I wish, just once, you would take care of things.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).