Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 53

Contest No. 53 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, July 23, 2013.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

This is the drawing that needs your caption:


  1. “Don’t worry, I won’t miss it
    “Don’t worry, I won’t miss it. I’ll catch the live stream.”

  2. “I don’t know how we didn’t
    “I don’t know how we didn’t establish this before, but being a housewife means you have to actually stay at home, not follow me to work every day. And the fact that you still haven’t taken that off since our wedding is worrying me.”

  3. But the show is long over and
    But the show is long over and I already gave the final rose to Louise.

  4. You barge into my office just
    You barge into my office just to tell me I forgot to go to our wedding?

  5. 1. “You can’t file for
    1. “You can’t file for divorce. The wedding’s not until tonight.”

    2. “Last night? I distinctly remember penciling you in for this Friday.”

    3. “You’re not getting into the spirit of ‘Bring Your Bride To Work Day.'”

    4. “But I told you I’d be working late tonight.”

    5. “Sorry, if I let everyone off for their honeymoon, we’d never get any work done around here.”

    6. “You do know, just because we just got married it doesn’t mean you’ll be getting a raise.”

    7. “I’m sorry, you’ll still have to work late tonight.”

    8. “Oh, I’m sorry. I forgot to tell you I decided not to leave my wife.”

    9. “You have a strange way of dressing for Casual Fridays.”

    10. “I’m afraid the company wouldn’t green light our merger.”

  6. …very clever of you Miss
    …very clever of you Miss Jones…you will be able to get to your wedding on time after you leave at 5 pm!!!

  7. 1. “You make a beautiful
    1. “You make a beautiful bride but a lousy secretary.”

    2. “The reception area is two doors down on your right.”

    3. “I suppose I can squeeze the wedding in between my 4 and 5 PM appointments.”

    4. “Isn’t this a bit early to be looking for a marriage counselor?”

  8. Sorry, but I’m already
    Sorry, but I’m already married.
    If you’re looking for John he is still single and he is
    in the office next door.

  9. 1. “I’m sorry, our HMO doesn
    1. “I’m sorry, our HMO doesn’t guarantee payment in sickness and in health.”

  10. 1. “I’ll give you credit,
    1. “I’ll give you credit, that’s a lot more imaginative than calling in and pretending you’re sick.”

    2. “I’m sorry, we have a policy of not hiring runaway brides. Too undependable.”

    3. “Try someone in the mail room. I’d never marry someone from a lower grade level than myself.”

    4. “Tell me again, how do I make a profit from this venture?”

    5.” You shouldn’t be surprised I didn’t show up. I told you I was a workaholic.”

  11. “Some of the employees say
    “Some of the employees say you’ve been making veiled threats about me!”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).