Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 49

Contest No. 49 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “Add New Comment”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”.

Note: After you save your caption, please check at the top of the page to make sure it has been accepted and is awaiting my approval for posting. If, instead of that, you get an “error” message stating that your caption, or comment, has triggered a spam alert and will not go through, then please email me at elilast@verizon.net to let me know about the problem. I think I have solved the “spam alert” problem, but this will be the first real test of it.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, April 9, 2013.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

This is the drawing that needs your caption:



  1. I’m sorry Harry, stapler
    I’m sorry Harry, stapler injuries are simply not eligible for worker’s comp, no matter how severe. Perhaps you should try using paper clips from now on?

  2. You got some tough
    You got some tough competition as the last guy said he’d give an arm and a leg for this job.

  3. 1. “You’re fired but feel
    1. “You’re fired but feel free to continue using the handicap parking space.”

    2. “Perhaps multitasking isn’t your forte.”

    3. “I see your secretary has made our zero-tolerance sexual harassment policy clear to you.”

    4. “Perhaps it will be safer for you to stay at a ground floor position.

    5. “Have you ever considered being a “yes” man?

    6. “Just sign this paper saying you’re not suing us. and I’ll get you that key to the executive’s bathroom you’ve been wanting.

    7. “Perhaps you should offer SOMETHING at our next stockholder’s meeting.

    8. “I know you and some of our staff are not thrilled about our new efficiency practices.

    9. “Next time you have a complaint, run it by me before going to the CEO.

    10. “It’s come to my attention that you haven’t been a team player.

  4. 1. “Including “klutz” in your
    1. “Including “klutz” in your resume is unnecessarily stating the obvious.”

    2. “I’m taking you off paper shredding duty.”

    3. “I hear you forgot to purchase the office pool’s winning lottery numbers.”

    4. “I’m sorry, we have no position for a punch clock.”

    5. “Next year don’t stand so close to the pinata at our office ‘Cinco de Maya’ party.”

  5. “We hope your second day at
    “We hope your second day at work will go more smoothly than your first …”

  6. ” If your not accident prone
    ” If your not accident prone from 9 to 5 you have the job !”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).