Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 45

Contest No. 45 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. If you are prompted to enter a CAPTCHA code, please do so. Then (3) click "Save". There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, December 25, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

This is the drawing that needs your caption:



  1. “So you want to know if I go
    “So you want to know if I go to after Christmas sales for toys for next Christmas ?”

    ” so you like me, but you’re really looking forward to the Easter bunny !”

    ” You say you haven’t read a book on what to say to Santa and you’re just going to wing it!”

  2. 1. “It’s hard times kid. I’ve
    1. “It’s hard times kid. I’ve decided to make a merger with the Tooth Fairy.”

    2. “I don’t deliver anymore. The toy’s free but you’ll have to pay for shipping and handling.”

    3. “Pick up your complementary reindeer chip on your way out.”

    4. “Smile for the camera. That’ll be $16.95 for two 8X10s and 10 wallet size photos.”

    5.”Look, I can get you implants for your two front teeth, but I’m not paying for your posts and crowns.”

    6. “Why don’t I look jolly? How’d you like to get paid $7 an hour?”

    7. “I got a great gift for you. A Ronco Showtime Oven…You just set it and forget it!”

    8. “Listen, you never mention seeing me kissing mommy, and I’ll get you an ipad.”

    9. “Sorry kid, you almost made it through the year being nice, but wetting Santa’s leg puts you in the naughty column.”

    10. “You don’t need me. Just ask Obama for anything you want.”

  3. 1. “Sorry kid, no returns
    1. “Sorry kid, no returns without a receipt.”
    2. “The complaint department is on the 8th floor.”
    3. “How about what I want for Xmas for a change?”
    4. “The only thing I have left is a slightly licked candy cane.”
    5. “Your on the wrong line…I’m the ‘Only Ten Items Or Less’ Santa.”

  4. “Sorry son, it just doesn’t
    “Sorry son, it just doesn’t feel like the right time to ‘HO HO'” (In memory of our blessed parting angels)

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).