Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 38

Contest No. 38 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security code that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click "Save". There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, July 3, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

This is the drawing that needs your funny caption:




  1. 1. “You’ll be glad to know, I
    1. “You’ll be glad to know, I’m bequeathing all my fixtures to you.”

    2. “The only ones making a profit these days are the sign makers.”

    3. “What is this, the 28th or 29th year we’ve been going out of business?”

    4. “I’m retiring to a nudist colony. I don’t want to see another garment for the rest of my life!”

    5. “Son, like my father and my grandfather did…I’m proudly handing down my failed business to you.

  2. ” Will it come to an end or
    ” Will it come to an end or is it more like a circle, will
    they ever grasp the concept of bait and switch ?”

  3. “When you told me you were a
    “When you told me you were a great closer, I had something completely different in mind.”

  4. 1. “You’re right…we should
    1. “You’re right…we should have put a Starbucks in the back of the store.”

    2. “To bad you weren’t as good a salesman as you are a sign maker”

    3. “I hope this doesn’t mean you’re coming back to live with your mother and I.

    4. “So much for your brilliant marketing plan: Buy one suit, get another 12 free.”

    5. “We just couldn’t beat Barney’s prices…and I’m just talking about that silly purple dinosaur.”

  5. Well Son, Once we close up
    Well Son, Once we close up for good, I guess you’ll have to go out and get yourself a real job. You won’t be riding my coat-tails anymore.

  6. If THIS SALE doesn’t pan out,
    If THIS SALE doesn’t pan out, you still have the phone number to our local ‘Salvation Army’, don’t you?

  7. That’s it… I’m going back
    That’s it… I’m going back to when I was a kid and the lemonade stand !”

  8. “OK, maybe I should have
    “OK, maybe I should have updated our Nehru jacket department.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).