Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 34

Contest No. 34 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security code that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click "Save". There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, April 10, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Here's the drawing that needs your funny captions. By the way, this is a gag that I first thought up about 60+ years ago, so don't expect my original caption to be very sophisticated. When a gag that I like doesn't sell the first time around to all the publications, I just re-draw and keep trying again . . . and again . . . and again. So this particular drawing has to be about 40 years old, and that's when I finally gave up on it. Let's see what you can do with it!


  1. “… yes sir,, parrots are
    “… yes sir,, parrots are very intuitive, i suppose you would be able to teach him to say repeal obamacare NOW ! ”

  2. “And he doesn’t just talk..
    “And he doesn’t just talk…Who do you think wrote that sign?!”

  3. 1. “He comes with a 350 word
    1. “He comes with a 350 word vocabulary from his previous owner…or I can reset him back to his original setting of ‘Polly want a cracker'”

    2. He’s only two weeks old but he can already say ‘Squawk’ in 30 languages.”

    3. “He’s a rare African Mute parrot, but he can do sign language with his claws.”

    4. “He just said, ‘Plly wnt crcker’…He hasn’t learned how to say vowels yet.

    5. “He said, ‘Nice head of hair.’ I trained him early to suck up.”

  4. “Unfortunately, at this point
    “Unfortunately, at this point, he can only speak Goo-Goo and Ga-Ga.”

  5. “Sorry sir, but this one
    “Sorry sir, but this one doesn’t say, Polly want a cracker, it says, Polly want a Zwieback.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).