Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 29

I think ingesting all those eyes of newts on Halloween must have infected my brain. I couldn't decide on a single winner . . . so I'm declaring it a three-way tie!


1. “Your recipe will be even better with this all-organic, cruelty-free eye of newt.” (by Caryn)

2. “. . . and five 'Pepcids'. Your brew gives everybody heartburn!!!!” (by Dom Mancino)

3. “Here's the kidney stones you wanted, and believe me, it wasn't easy getting my husband to pass them.” (by Cary Antebi)

My original caption: “I always enrich it with vitamins.”

Congratulations Caryn (two-time winner), Dom Mancino (three-time winner) and Cary Antebi (a huge eight-time winner!). You are definitely three of the funniest people around.

Some of the other captions I was considering for top honors:

“Why don't we just skip over the toil and trouble part this time?” (by Jonathan).

“I traded the eye of newt for these magic beans.” (by Kelasher).

“And now the most dangerous ingredient of all . . . sugar cubes!” (by Cary Antebi). Years ago, this caption would have been a sure sale for me to any of my health and nutrition publication markets, but they all folded and are long gone. That's the market that my original caption was targeted for.

“I have no idea what these eyeballs from a lemur will do, but that's what Martha Stewart suggests.” (also by Cary Antebi).

“They'll never know it's a placebo.” (by Sharon).

This contest is getting very educational. Now we all know what ingredients are necessary for a decent witches' brew: eye of newt, powdered unicorn horn, rat tail, cat paw, owl spleen, monkey brain, cat whiskers, kidney stones, lemur eyeballs and woolly mammoth liver. Yum.

Thanks to all of you who participated. New contest coming up shortly.

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).