Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 29

Cartoon Caption Contest No. 29 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on “COMMENTS†underneath the current drawing. Then (2) scroll down past all the other comments and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security word that assures me that you’re a human being and not a machine, and (4) click “Submitâ€. There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, November 8, 2011.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

And this is the drawing that needs your funny captions:



  1. comment title
    1. “Remember the good old days when our husbands wanted some evil witches’ brew? Now all they ask for is bullion soup.”
    2. “And now the most dangerous ingredient of all…sugar cubes.!”
    3. “You can’t make a tasty rat’s tail-cat’s paw-owl’s spleen-monkey brain brew…without some soup nuts.”
    4. “MMM, a witches’ brew that will put a twenty year curse on anyone who eats it…Now that’s what I call a Happy Meal!”
    5. “My cat wasn’t about to give up his paws but he coughed up these fur balls.”

  2. comment title
    1. “I’ve heard you’ve been having a lot of toil and trouble. Try taking these Prozac pills.”
    2. “It’s supposed to be lentil soup. How about less on the rat tails and cat whiskers and more on the lentils?”
    3. “I’m tired of being the dark side of this “good witch-bad witch” thing. How about if I do the stirring and you throw in the arsenic pills.”
    4. “I’m subbing for the Tooth Fairy. I grab the teeth and leave nothing under the pillows.

  3. comment title
    1. “I have no idea what these eyeballs from a lemur will do, but that’s what Martha Stewart suggests.”
    2. “Stand back, these Mentos are going to shoot this brew sky-high!” (Note: If you don’t get this one, look up “Mentos in Coke” on Youtube.)
    3. “They’re chocolate covered peanuts that some old lady sucked off all the covered chocolate.”
    4. ” I figured after throwing in a million year old liver from a Woolly Mammoth, you might want to include these stool softeners.”
    5. “They’re stale Pez Candies from 1955. Trust me, if the bat wings and yak spleens don’t get them, these will.”

  4. comment title
    1.”You better be right about this because I can’t see a damn thing without my contacts.”
    2. “Here’s the kidney stones you wanted, and believe me, it wasn’t easy getting my husband to pass them.”
    3. “Somehow, chanting ‘Double, double, toil and trouble…Fire burn and cauldron bubble’ over a pot of chicken soup, doesn’t sound too nefarious to me.”

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Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).