“I’m sorry, madam, you’ve misread our terms — it’s guaranteed for 99 days, not years.”
(by Ken Wilkinson)
My original caption: “It seems to me that this item has reached the point of no return.”
Congratulations on your sixth victory, Ken Wilkinson! Your first win was in Contest No. 118, back in 2017 (Wow! This contest has been going on for ages, hasn’t it?) Be that as it may, you can once again rest assured that you are currently one of the funniest people in the whole world (Mr. Wilkinson’s captions come all the way from the mother country, the United Kingdom).
Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering:
“I’m sure this worked in 1942 when you first purchased it.” (by Michael Lomazow)
“The use of hot water in this coffee/tea pot voids the warranty.” (by Lee Lacewell)
“That’s not a dash, it’s a minus sign. You may return this item but we have to subtract your refund.” (by Joe Ayella)
“That sign isn’t big enough for our third ‘R’: Restocking Fee.” (also by Joe Ayella)
“I’m sorry, but if you break it, you take it.” (by Diane Weisman)
“May I ask why it’s filled with ashes, madam?” (by Pat Foley)
“Please let me know if the next one you purchase is any better.” (by Scott Malcolm)
“I’m afraid, madam, no amount of rubbing will help — the Genie has retired.” (also by Ken Wilkinson)
Look for Contest No. 218 in just a little over a fortnight, Captioneers, and thanks for participating.