This is not a gag cartoon. It’s an educational/informational “spot” drawn specifically for Union Communication Services, Inc. See my posting of June 20, 2025 for any further explanation.
This is not a gag cartoon. It’s an educational/informational “spot” drawn specifically for Union Communication Services, Inc. See my posting of June 20, 2025 for any further explanation.
“We’re just waiting for my nurse to staple two tape measures together.”
(by Scott Malcolm)
My original caption: “You’re like a living error message.”
Congratulations, Scott Malcolm, on your third victory, coming close on the heels of your wins in Contests No. 238 and 230. It’s celebration time, so get out that megaphone and shout it to the world — you’re definitely one of the funniest people around!
(I still like my original caption, by the way, and to me it’s still applicable and funny, after all these years.)
Here are the “runners-up”:
“Read my lips . . . EXERCISE . . . not extra fries!” (by Lee Lacewell)
“There’s a reason I ask all my patients to wear a gown.” (by Joe Ayella)
“Unfortunately, having someone there to drive you home after the procedure will probably not be necessary.” (by Michael Iomazow). (Sorry I’ve been calling you Michael Lomazow all these years, Michael — I just woke up and realized that that’s a capital I in your last name, not a lower case L — mea culpa)
“Either lose 40 pounds or get three inches taller. Your choice.” (by Mark S.)
“Stay off the couch and potatoes.” (by Pat Foley)
“It’s Take Your Kids to Work Day. Would you mind if my kids observed your colonoscopy?” (by Mark Miler)
“You didn’t need to undress. You’re here to change a light bulb.” (by Sylvana Lagrotteria)
“That’s not a UFO on your head, it’s your living room lamp stuck in your trousers.” (by Ken Wilkinson)
Speaking of runners-up, Captioneer Joe Ayella was an in-the-money runner-up in the latest Cartoon Stock caption contest. Nice work, Joe!
Contest No. 244 will be coming up in this space before you know it, Captioneers. Looking forward to your funny entries — thanks for participating!
Contest No. 243 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, September 23, 2026.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
This is not a gag cartoon. It’s an educational/informational “spot” drawn specifically for Union Communication Services, Inc. See my posting of June 20, 2025 for any further explanation.
This is not a gag cartoon. It’s an educational/informational “spot” drawn specifically for Union Communication Services, Inc. See my posting of June 20, 2025 for any further explanation.
“We would appreciate some insider trading information.”
(by Michael Lomazow)
My original caption: “Which is it , dear? Are you the former Chairman and current CEO, or the current Chairman and former CEO?”
Hearty congratulations on your tenth victory, Michael Lomazow, coming almost on the heels of your last win in Contest No. 239. Once again, you can bask in the glory and announce it to the world: you are definitely one of the funniest people around!
Here are the other submitted captions that “almost made it”:
“George, say hello to the woman you almost married.” (by Diane Weisman)
“Oh, he’s mad the DOW only went up 1000 points today.” (by Jonathan Stein)
“Are you sure you barely knew each other . . . he’s used your maiden name and birthday as his computer password for the past fifteen years?” (by Lee Lacewell)
“Beth is looking for true love, but will settle for your accounting partner.” (by Joe Ayella)
“Harold’s thinking about getting into politics, that’s where the real money’s at.” (by Paul Nesja)
Contest No 243 will be posted in due time, Captioneers, so watch for it. Thanks for participating!
Contest No. 242 starts right now.
Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.
Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This will give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. Every posted caption has an indication of the date and time it was received. This is an equal opportunity contest!
There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which the winning caption will be announced and printed and I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).
The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, August 26, 2026.
Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!
This is not a gag cartoon. It’s an educational/informational “spot” drawn specifically for Union Communication Services, Inc. See my posting of June 20, 2025 for any further explanation.
This is not a gag cartoon. It’s an educational/informational “spot” drawn specifically for Union Communication Services, Inc. See my posting of June 20, 2025 for any further explanation.