“Mr. Nagle, your psychiatrist says it’s time for you to go in.”

(by Michael Lomazow)

My original caption: “Mr. Nagle is still busy, but his flunky can see you now.”

Congratulations, Michael Lomazow, on this, your fourth victory. Your caption caused a delayed reaction laugh — it took me a few moments to understand, but I really appreciated it once I realized where your gag was coming from. Well done! Once again, you can bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other captions that I was considering for top honors:

“He’ll talk to you now. Here’s the phone.” (by Pat Foley)

“Be patient. He’s having a bad ‘here’ day,” (also by Pat Foley)

“Ehay ookslay ikelay a otaltay oserlay!” (by Marc Eliot Stein)

“Sorry to bother you sir, but your patient’s patience is wearing thin waiting for your meeting.” (by Diane Weisman)

“Sorry, Rich is on an important call about niblicks vs. mashies.” (by Kelly)

“Your 9 o’clock firing is here.” (by Rich Wolf)

“He wants to know if you brought smoke and mirrors, or a dog and pony.” (by Mark S.)

“He loves a good joke. Call him Mr. Bagel and watch his reaction.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

The next contest will appear here before you know it, Captioneers. Please watch for it, and thanks for participating!

Contest No. 200 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, June 7, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

“Good job! The termites are now in control.”

(by Mark S.)

My original caption: “I’d give my right arm for a crack at that.”

Congratulations, Mark S., on your very first victory — the first of many, I hope. You have earned the bragging rights and you can shout it from the rooftops, because you are now officially one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Even the termites are leaving.” (by Diane)

“Let us spray.” (by Pat Foley)

“Termites might just be the best thing that could happen to this place.” (by Lee Lacewell)

“We have a non-aggression pact.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“We are the Termite-inators, we’ll be back!” (by Kay Ralph) (very clever caption, Kay Ralph, but it was narrowly edged out by Mark S.’s caption)

Cartoon Caption Contest No. 200 will be coming up real soon. Hope I can find a decent drawing to inspire you Captioneers. Thanks for participating!

Contest No. 199 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, May 10, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Yes, this cartoon of mine is as old as it looks. So old that it has my parent’s address in Brooklyn rubber-stamped on the back of it — I figure it was drawn about 65 to 70 years ago. I’m sure that many of you can improve on my original caption. Good luck, Captioneers!

“I’ll see you in a couple of years. I just got assigned to Trump’s 2016 audit!”

(by Brendan F. Gannon)

My original caption: “Well, so long, folks . . .  and many happy returns!”

Congratulations, Brendan F. Gannon, on your sixth victory (the last one was just three contests ago). Once again, you have proved to be positively one of the funniest people around.

I know I’ve said in the past that politically-oriented captions don’t stand a chance of winning these contests, since I’m basically looking for universally-oriented “gags”,  but this caption actually made me laugh. So I’m declaring that ex-President Trump has officially departed from the political arena and now exists only in the “funny gag” arena.

There were very few captions submitted this time around (too much holiday stress?), but here are the others that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Sometimes being the boss has its perks.” (by Diane Weisman)

“Don’t hate me because my accountant is creative.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“Being overwhelmed with work is par for the course.” (by Pat Foley)

“How about one round, double or nothing?” (also by Michael Lomazow)

“It’s April 16, somewhere.” (by Mark S.)

Cartoon Caption Contests are as inevitable as death and taxes, so be on the lookout for Contest No. 199. It will be posted here before you know it. There are no cash prizes, but there’s also no charge for sending in captions! Thanks for participating, Captioneers!