Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 200

“Mr. Nagle, your psychiatrist says it’s time for you to go in.”

(by Michael Lomazow)

 

My original caption: “Mr. Nagle is still busy, but his flunky can see you now.”

 

Congratulations, Michael Lomazow, on this, your fourth victory. Your caption caused a delayed reaction laugh — it took me a few moments to understand, but I really appreciated it once I realized where your gag was coming from. Well done! Once again, you can bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other captions that I was considering for top honors:

“He’ll talk to you now. Here’s the phone.” (by Pat Foley)

“Be patient. He’s having a bad ‘here’ day,” (also by Pat Foley)

“Ehay ookslay ikelay a otaltay oserlay!” (by Marc Eliot Stein)

“Sorry to bother you sir, but your patient’s patience is wearing thin waiting for your meeting.” (by Diane Weisman)

“Sorry, Rich is on an important call about niblicks vs. mashies.” (by Kelly)

“Your 9 o’clock firing is here.” (by Rich Wolf)

“He wants to know if you brought smoke and mirrors, or a dog and pony.” (by Mark S.)

“He loves a good joke. Call him Mr. Bagel and watch his reaction.” (also by Michael Lomazow)

The next contest will appear here before you know it, Captioneers. Please watch for it, and thanks for participating!

 

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Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 200

Contest No. 200 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, June 7, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Good luck, Captioneers!

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Remembrance of Sam Gross 1933-2023

It’s hard to believe. Sam Gross, a giant in the magazine gag-cartooning world, passed away last week, at the age of 89.

Sam Gross never retired. He showed up regularly on Tuesday mornings at the offices of The New Yorker to offer his latest cartoon creations, and to schmooze away with other cartoonists while awaiting his turn to see the Cartoon Editor. And afterwards he would hang around and continue schmoozing at an improvised lunch that he and a few other cartoonists arranged at some nearby restaurant.

I’m sure I must have crossed paths with Sam Gross many years ago, in the glory days of gag cartooning, on “Look Day” Wednesday. That was the day that local cartoonists invaded Manhattan to make the rounds of the Cartoon Editors of all the magazines, newspapers and syndicates that were actively purchasing gag cartoons. On a good day a cartoonist could show batches of rough cartoons to about a dozen editors, in the hope of getting some “holds” or selling a few outright. These days, the only Cartoon Editor that sees cartoonists in person is Emma Allen of the New Yorker (and the day had long ago been changed to Tuesday, instead of Wednesday).

So, as I said, Sam Gross and I must have crossed paths, but I don’t remember ever talking to him until some time in 2004, in The New Yorker waiting room. We struck up a conversation and he mentioned that he was working on yet another cartoon anthology project, a book or a daily calendar, on the subject of Law (something like his “Cats! Cats! Cats!” and “Dogs! Dogs! Dogs!” books, I imagined). He asked me if I had any good Law cartoons published that he could consider using — he was interested only in reprints, not originals. I told him that this was his lucky day, that Law was my “spec-i-al-i-tee” and that I had loads of cartoons published in The National Law Journal and similar legal publications that I’d be pleased to offer for the project. Long story short, I sent copies of my reprints to him, he selected one that had appeared in the  NLJ, I signed the necessary releases, and in no time at all I received a hefty royalty check from his publisher.

That’s the kind of mensch Sam Gross was.

 

The above snapshot was taken in 2007, when we met at a cartoon art exhibit. That’s him on the right, with the beard, and me on the left. It looks to me like we had the same predilection for black turtle-neck shirts.

Rest in peace, Sam Gross.

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Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 199

“Good job! The termites are now in control.”

(by Mark S.)

 

My original caption: “I’d give my right arm for a crack at that.”

 

Congratulations, Mark S., on your very first victory — the first of many, I hope. You have earned the bragging rights and you can shout it from the rooftops, because you are now officially one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Even the termites are leaving.” (by Diane)

“Let us spray.” (by Pat Foley)

“Termites might just be the best thing that could happen to this place.” (by Lee Lacewell)

“We have a non-aggression pact.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“We are the Termite-inators, we’ll be back!” (by Kay Ralph) (very clever caption, Kay Ralph, but it was narrowly edged out by Mark S.’s caption)

Cartoon Caption Contest No. 200 will be coming up real soon. Hope I can find a decent drawing to inspire you Captioneers. Thanks for participating!

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Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 199

Contest No. 199 starts right now.

Here are the details: I’ll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. To enter your caption, simply (1) click on “See Comments and Add Your Own”. Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click “Save”. There is no charge to submit captions, and the only prize is the honor of being one of the funniest people around.

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. However, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest. This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else’s similar spontaneous, gut-instinct caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you may enter for each drawing, but I will only post and consider the first 15 captions from any contestant. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also reveal my original caption. I am the sole judge and the winning caption will be the one I deem to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Wednesday, May 10, 2023.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. Yes, this cartoon of mine is as old as it looks. So old that it has my parent’s address in Brooklyn rubber-stamped on the back of it — I figure it was drawn about 65 to 70 years ago. I’m sure that many of you can improve on my original caption. Good luck, Captioneers!

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Dartnell, 1993

 

Explanation: Same explanation as for my previous posting of a Dartnell cartoon from 1995, the one I posted on April 21, 2023.  In the good old days, telephone hold buttons were a vital power tool for executives. I wouldn’t be surprised to hear that execs in those days didn’t have to pass a course called “Telephone Holding Techniques 101” before they could get their MBA Degree. Well, it’s fun to think about such things, anyway.

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Dartnell, 1995

 

Explanation: This was printed in 1995, when that powerful Hold button was still being used by petty business execs to control and dominate phone conversations (as in “I’ve got an important call coming in, let me put you on hold for a minute”.)

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Winner of Eli’s Cartoon Caption Contest No. 198

“I’ll see you in a couple of years. I just got assigned to Trump’s 2016 audit!”

(by Brendan F. Gannon)

 

My original caption: “Well, so long, folks . . .  and many happy returns!”

 

Congratulations, Brendan F. Gannon, on your sixth victory (the last one was just three contests ago). Once again, you have proved to be positively one of the funniest people around.

I know I’ve said in the past that politically-oriented captions don’t stand a chance of winning these contests, since I’m basically looking for universally-oriented “gags”,  but this caption actually made me laugh. So I’m declaring that ex-President Trump has officially departed from the political arena and now exists only in the “funny gag” arena.

There were very few captions submitted this time around (too much holiday stress?), but here are the others that I was seriously considering for top honors:

“Sometimes being the boss has its perks.” (by Diane Weisman)

“Don’t hate me because my accountant is creative.” (by Michael Lomazow)

“Being overwhelmed with work is par for the course.” (by Pat Foley)

“How about one round, double or nothing?” (also by Michael Lomazow)

“It’s April 16, somewhere.” (by Mark S.)

Cartoon Caption Contests are as inevitable as death and taxes, so be on the lookout for Contest No. 199. It will be posted here before you know it. There are no cash prizes, but there’s also no charge for sending in captions! Thanks for participating, Captioneers!

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Foreword

Welcome to the Eli Stein Cartoon archive. To begin, read my introduction and personal notes, and then please look at the cartoons, which are categorized by either decade, publication name or topic. I’ve included some personal comments, memories and photos below many of the cartoons. I’ll be adding cartoons, memories and photos ad infinitum. Remember, your comments are appreciated (just click on the “comment” link at the bottom of each post).
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