Cartoons

Dartnell, 1990







Bureau of Business Practice, 1997







Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 117


     "The only upside I can see is, they won't let me come back till you sign it!"

                                                (by Tim Collins)

 

My original caption: "It's a basic law of genetics -- a certain percentage of high achievers are bound to have some offspring who are low achievers."

 

Congratulations, Tim Collins, this is a strong second win for you! Once again you can bask in the spotlight of knowing that you are one of the funniest people around.

Here are the other entries that I was seriously considering:

"What do you expect, the apple does not fall far from the tree." (by Diane)

"Overall, I gave the school a C, plus two gold stars." (by Jonathan Stein)

"What do you mean, you're distancing yourself from me?" (by Richard Wolf)

"It's not like the old days . . . I can still be president one day." (by Cary Antebi)

"Make up your mind, whose son am I today?" (also by Cary Antebi)

"My teacher would like to know what you people are doing wrong." (by Mel Tannenbaum)

"I'm sorry if I'm disappointing you, mom. I'm just trying to be like dad." (by c)

And of course Tim Collins gets a special "honorable mention" for his "Not to worry Ma, if this school thing don't work out, I'm thinking of becoming a cartoon caption writer!" (it's not a commercially-viable caption, but it got a smile out of me anyway).

Thanks for all the captions -- a new contest will be up in just a couple of weeks.

 

 






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 117


Contest No. 117 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission. Also, no captions at all will be posted for the first few days of each contest.  This is to give everybody a chance to submit their spontaneous, gut-instinct caption without fear of discovering that it was ripped off by somebody else's similar spontaneous caption. This is an equal opportunity contest!

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, May 2, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.






National Law Journal, April 3, 1989







New York Teacher, 2000







Nutrition Health Review, 1996







Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 116


                                 "Looks like you been there already."

                                                    (by vinny)

 

My original caption: "Will it be on regular TV, Cable or Pay-Per-View?"

 

Congratulations, vinny, on your first victory! You are now an official member of that elite group of "one of the funniest people around".  I would have changed the "you" in your caption to "you've", but that's just being petty -- your wording sounds more like the way a kid would actually talk. Good work!

That being said, I confess that I think that my original caption is probably as good as, or better, than most of those submitted. It's dated, of course, because it was drawn about 30 years ago. But it could easily be brought into the 21st century by simply switching the names to the current popular TV streaming services, such as Netflix, Hulu or Amazon. Yes, I really think that would make for a perfectly professional and marketable gag cartoon.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering:

"'Near' as in 'after the next Star Wars movie' or 'near' as in 'don't study for tomorrow's test'?" (by John Platt)

"And you think those sandals are going to help?" (by Sagie Tvizer)

"Where is the beginning?" (by Susan Canaan)

"Do I have time to grab a pizza first?" (by Tim Collins)

"You may be near the end -- I'm only at the beginning." (by Anne Noonan)

"Not fair! At least wait until after I start driving!" (by Andrew Bramley)

"Old timer . . . you'll reach a lot more people if you tweet it." (by Cary Antebi)

"Whatever!" (also by Vinny)

 

Thanks, and watch for the next contest, coming up in just two short weeks.

 

 






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 116


Contest No. 116 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, April 11, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.

 






Bought and Paid For, But Never Published. National Review, 1988


 

I guess I have to include this cartoon in my "Bought and Paid For, But Never Published" category. As far as I know, it never saw the light of day by being printed in National Review after it was purchased. I have no idea why the editors changed their minds -- it seems like a pretty innocuous statement to me.






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