Cartoon Caption Contests

Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 62


                                       "I can't wait to see page two."

                                                   (by Dale Stout)

 

My original caption: "Wow! I've never read such an attention-grabbing opening sentence!"

 

Congratulations again, Dale Stout -- your short, but sweet, caption worked for me, and you have now captured your fourth win in a very short time (your first win was in Contest No. 54, not that long ago). So once again you regain the title of "one of the funniest people around".

Here are some of the other captions that I was "seriously" considering for top honors:

"Finally, a book that addresses hairstyling for men. I tried like five hair gels just this morning and none were quite right." (by Sharon)

"I was so inspired by your '101 Experiments With Hair Gel' that I tried one myself this morning." (by Levi)

"I have to say, Mr. Smith, you look just a little too straight to be writing for our punk fanzine." (by Kevmob)

"When I suggested to give me a hair-raising ending, I didn't mean it literally!" (by Steve)

"Well, you've definitely written a surprise ending. It's just all these blank pages before it, that concerns me." (by Cary Antebi)

"I believe you misunderstood me when I asked you to 'flesh it out'." (by Bill Mac)

Getting back to my original caption (which I have to admit I still like very much), the attention-grabbing opening sentence of my forthcoming novel will probably be something like this: "It was on a dark and stormy night, during the best of times and the worst of times, that I, Ishmael, acknowledged a universal truth -- that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

A new Contest will be up before you know it. Keep a sharp lookout for it.

 

 






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 62


Contest No. 62 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, January 28, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No.61


                        "We're all fired . . . Amazon bought the library."

                                           (by Andrew Bramley)

 

My original caption: "No, I can't possibly talk to you now -- I've got a Reference call on hold, for God's sake!"

 

Congrats, Andrew Bramley -- you obviously know what creates panic in librarians these days, and you deserve to be regarded as one of the funniest people around!

I admit that my original caption was rather condescending, but please remember that it was created three or four decades ago, when librarians didn't have to concern themselves with all the new-fangled technology.

Here are the other captions that made it to the final table, but for various reasons didn't make it all the way:

"Harriet, they're removing the book shelves to make room for a Starbucks." (by Anonymous . . . but I think it's Cary Antebi)

"So, were you going to be reading that on an iPad, or a Kindle, or an Nook, or a Kobo, or a Galaxy Tab, or a . . . ?" (by robert)

"How many three-year-olds are you bringing to story time?" (by kelasher . . . and I admit this has got to be about 8 or 9 on a librarian "panic scale")

On a final note, I was puzzling over this last-minute caption by Anonymous (Cary Antebi again???): "911? . . . I just get anyone to shhh!". I suddenly realized that it would probably have been a winner with a one-word change. If it had been submitted as "911? . . . I can't get anyone to shhh!", it would have been a very strong contender.

Don't despair, folks -- a new contest will be up before you know it.

 






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 61


Contest No. 61 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, January 7, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption. I believe this is the first contest drawing to have a "title panel" on top. So the big question is: What is this placid, cool-headed librarian saying (or hearing) on the phone that could possibly cause her to panic?? Have fun with this one, folks -- and good luck in the new year!






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 60


                              "Yes, Sonny, there IS a Santa Claus."

                                         (by Harvey Appelbaum)

 

My original caption: "I'm on the sixth floor."

 

Congratulations, Harvey Appelbaum -- this is your first victory, and I know you've been submitting captions here for a long time. Now you can finally bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.

This was another tough contest for me to judge. The main reason is that I really liked Howard Garrett's caption, "Where do I find Santa Claus?" The only problem is that in the drawing, it's Santa who's doing the talking, and not the kid. If it was the other way around, this caption would have been a winner.

I also really liked Dale Stout's "NSA" caption (see below). And I have to confess that I'm still proud of my original caption -- it's a mystery to me why my cartoon was never snapped up by some publication or other.

So these are the other captions that I was seriously considering for the top prize:

"The NSA already knows what you want, kid." (by Dale Stout)

"I cannot promise it by Xmas sonny, you would do better on line." (by Andrew Bramley)

"I got fired by the Complaint Department. I was too jolly." (by Cary Antebi)

The next contest is scheduled to begin on the last day of the year. In the meantime, enjoy the holiday festivities!

 






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 60


Contest No. 60 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, December 17, 2013.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption. Yes, it's another very old one of mine. How old?  All I know is that my rubber stamp on the back shows the address of the second tenement in Brooklyn where I lived with my mother, father and brother. Not the first tenement -- we had to leave that one because my parents couldn't come up with the rent. Anyway, it's pretty old.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 59


        "Now tell me agaIn, just how many Thanksgiving dinners did you have?"

                                                    (by Caryn)

                                   " . . . I suspect it's the bird flu!"

                                             (by Dom Mancino)

 

My original caption: "Exactly how much holiday turkey have you been eating?"

 

Yes, it's another tie! Caryn gets a win because she really did a great job of nailing my original gag and caption . . . and Dom Mancino gets to share that win because he came up with a terrific "bird flu" caption. Congrats to both of you. Caryn, this is your fourth victory -- Dom Mancino, this is your sixth. You can both bask in the glory of being two of the funniest people around.

This was a tough one to judge, because I liked so many of the entries. Here are some of the captions that were getting serious consideration for top honors:

"Well, I could just carve it off." (by Cary Antebi)

"Are you allergic to any condiments?" (also by Cary Antebi)

"Have you encountered any angry Gypsies lately?" (By John Platt)

"Turn your head and gobble." (also by John Platt)

"Have you been gobbling with salt water like I told you to?" (also by Cary Antebi)

"Which came first, the chicken or the eczema?" (by Dale Stout)

"Does the government know you escaped from Plum Island?" (by drmrs). I think a word of explanation is needed here, for people who are not from the immediate New York/Connecticut/Long Island area. Plum Island, just a few miles off the coast of both Long Island and Connecticut, is a place where, for decades, our federal government has been conducting mysterious, top-secret research and experimentation on animal diseases. The facility has recently been closed (so they say, but who really knows?), and the island is currently up for grabs. I thought this was a particularly well-conceived and funny caption. It could easily have been a winner were it not for the Plum Island name-recognition factor.

"I'm sorry, but I don't have a turkey thermometer on hand." (also by Cary Antebi)

A new contest will be up shortly. Keep on the lookout for it -- and enjoy your Thanksgiving turkey!

 

                                              






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 59


Contest No. 59 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, November  26, 2013.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 58


               "Thanks for hiring me to work in your laboratory. What are

                                    these cute little glass things?"

                                                 (by Levi)

 

My original caption: "A cure for dyslexia! Eukera!"

 

Your fifth win, Levi - -  congratulations! You truly deserve the title of "one of the funniest people around".

As for my original caption, yes, that's supposed to say "Eukera!", not "Eureka!". Get it? Dyslexia? . . . Eukera? (I really hate it when I feel obligated to explain a gag). Actually, I'm convinced that the reason my cartoon never sold to any publication is that all the editors glanced at the caption real fast and, the human brain being what it is, they mistakenly read the word as "Eureka!". They then collectively scratched their heads and thought, "What's funny about that?", and quickly dropped it into their "Rejected" pile.

Other captions that were being considered for top honors:

"Finally, a formula that will provide complete hair restoration! But only during a full moon." (by Gary Zeller)

"Where do I take my urine sample?" (by Howard Garrett)

"Eureka! . . . I always wanted to say that." (by Dale Stout)

"It's an earthy bouquet with robust overtones of formaldehyde and a gritty finish." (by ShellyO)

"This may be the cure for the common cold. Quick send this down to the lab. Oh, wait, we are the lab." (by Cary Antebi)

Keep on the lookout for the next contest, coming up soon.

 






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 58


Contest No. 58 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, November 5, 2013.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption. Once again, I'm hoping that you can be funnier than I was with my original caption (even though I have to confess that I'm still rather fond of mine).






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