Cartoon Caption Contests

Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 65


Contest No. 65 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

Starting with this contest, I'm going to hold off posting any submitted captions for a few days. My reasoning is that nobody should feel intimidated by seeing captions that might be similar to their initial gag inspiration. So no captions will appear for a few days -- and when they do appear, it will be in the order of submission, as usual. Let's see if it works and if we can get a greater diversity and quantity of captions.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, April 8, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.

 






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 64


     "Objection sustained. The jury is instructed that statements such as

 'nanny nanny boo boo' have no bearing on the suspect's innocence or guilt."

                                                  (by Levi)

 

My original caption: "Just answer his question and leave his diamond-encrusted Rolex out of it."

 

Nice work, Levi -- this is your sixth win, so you are definitely one of the funniest people around. Congratulations!

Some of the other captions I was considering:

"Please refrain from constantly saying, 'Who me?'" (by Cary Antebi)

"The prosecutor has called 'neener neener'. The witness shall be compelled to reply." (by John Platt)

"Your nose isn't all that plain." (by Gary Z.)

I still love my original caption, by the way. I can't figure out why this cartoon didn't get into The New Yorker. The signature 'ES" on the drawing is worth telling about, so here's the story (I've written about it before on this blog/archive).

I had been going regularly on Tuesdays to see The New Yorker's Cartoon Editor, Bob Mankoff, with no success in getting a cartoon acceptance. I decided that maybe it was the "STEIN" signature on the cartoons that was a big stumbling block. After all, The New Yorker is not exactly famous for publishing cartoons by artists who have been kicking around the industry for 40 or 50 years. The New Yorker definitely likes to "discover" fresh, new talent. So I started signing all my New Yorker submissions with the unknown "ES". Sure, I'd still be sitting across the desk from Bob Mankoff, and He would know who "ES" is, but I thought it just might make a subtle difference in His thinking. It didn't work, of course.

My records indicate that Bob Mankoff held this particular cartoon (he typically held 3, 4 or 5 cartoons out of my weekly batch of ten), so I have to assume he showed it to New Yorker Editor-In-Chief David Remnick at their weekly "Art Meeting". My conclusion is that Mr. Remnick is the one who was ultimately responsible for this cartoon not appearing in his magazine. The New Yorker's loss, in my humble opinion.

That's the story. Be on the lookout for the next contest, coming up soon.






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 64


Contest No. 64 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, March 11, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 63


"First guy who comes in and actually tries to use this . . . I'm out of here."

                                         (by Cary Antebi)

 

My original caption: "I don't know why it is, but as soon as I sit at my new desk, I get this strange craving for a cigarette."

 

Congratulations again, Cary Antebi . This is your fourteenth win -- proving without a doubt that "you gotta be in it, to win it"!  Once more you have earned the right to be recognized as one of the funniest people around.

Here are some of the other captions I was kicking around for the top prize (one has nothing to do with smoking at all, and another one treats the desk as some sort of hallucination, I guess):

"Doctor, whenever my office is full of people, I get dizzy." (by Howard Garrett)

"Good morning, 'Smoke Beginners International' how may we help you?" (by Al Grand)

"The medication helped me quit smoking but there's some worrisome side effects." (by Sharon)

"Apparently I was taking too many smoking breaks." (by Kelasher)

Keep on the lookout for the next contest -- it'll be up real soon.






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 63


Contest No. 63 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, February 18, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 62


                                       "I can't wait to see page two."

                                                   (by Dale Stout)

 

My original caption: "Wow! I've never read such an attention-grabbing opening sentence!"

 

Congratulations again, Dale Stout -- your short, but sweet, caption worked for me, and you have now captured your fourth win in a very short time (your first win was in Contest No. 54, not that long ago). So once again you regain the title of "one of the funniest people around".

Here are some of the other captions that I was "seriously" considering for top honors:

"Finally, a book that addresses hairstyling for men. I tried like five hair gels just this morning and none were quite right." (by Sharon)

"I was so inspired by your '101 Experiments With Hair Gel' that I tried one myself this morning." (by Levi)

"I have to say, Mr. Smith, you look just a little too straight to be writing for our punk fanzine." (by Kevmob)

"When I suggested to give me a hair-raising ending, I didn't mean it literally!" (by Steve)

"Well, you've definitely written a surprise ending. It's just all these blank pages before it, that concerns me." (by Cary Antebi)

"I believe you misunderstood me when I asked you to 'flesh it out'." (by Bill Mac)

Getting back to my original caption (which I have to admit I still like very much), the attention-grabbing opening sentence of my forthcoming novel will probably be something like this: "It was on a dark and stormy night, during the best of times and the worst of times, that I, Ishmael, acknowledged a universal truth -- that a single man in possession of a good fortune, must be in want of a wife."

A new Contest will be up before you know it. Keep a sharp lookout for it.

 

 






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 62


Contest No. 62 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, January 28, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No.61


                        "We're all fired . . . Amazon bought the library."

                                           (by Andrew Bramley)

 

My original caption: "No, I can't possibly talk to you now -- I've got a Reference call on hold, for God's sake!"

 

Congrats, Andrew Bramley -- you obviously know what creates panic in librarians these days, and you deserve to be regarded as one of the funniest people around!

I admit that my original caption was rather condescending, but please remember that it was created three or four decades ago, when librarians didn't have to concern themselves with all the new-fangled technology.

Here are the other captions that made it to the final table, but for various reasons didn't make it all the way:

"Harriet, they're removing the book shelves to make room for a Starbucks." (by Anonymous . . . but I think it's Cary Antebi)

"So, were you going to be reading that on an iPad, or a Kindle, or an Nook, or a Kobo, or a Galaxy Tab, or a . . . ?" (by robert)

"How many three-year-olds are you bringing to story time?" (by kelasher . . . and I admit this has got to be about 8 or 9 on a librarian "panic scale")

On a final note, I was puzzling over this last-minute caption by Anonymous (Cary Antebi again???): "911? . . . I just get anyone to shhh!". I suddenly realized that it would probably have been a winner with a one-word change. If it had been submitted as "911? . . . I can't get anyone to shhh!", it would have been a very strong contender.

Don't despair, folks -- a new contest will be up before you know it.

 






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 61


Contest No. 61 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save". Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, January 7, 2014.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your caption. I believe this is the first contest drawing to have a "title panel" on top. So the big question is: What is this placid, cool-headed librarian saying (or hearing) on the phone that could possibly cause her to panic?? Have fun with this one, folks -- and good luck in the new year!






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 60


                              "Yes, Sonny, there IS a Santa Claus."

                                         (by Harvey Appelbaum)

 

My original caption: "I'm on the sixth floor."

 

Congratulations, Harvey Appelbaum -- this is your first victory, and I know you've been submitting captions here for a long time. Now you can finally bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.

This was another tough contest for me to judge. The main reason is that I really liked Howard Garrett's caption, "Where do I find Santa Claus?" The only problem is that in the drawing, it's Santa who's doing the talking, and not the kid. If it was the other way around, this caption would have been a winner.

I also really liked Dale Stout's "NSA" caption (see below). And I have to confess that I'm still proud of my original caption -- it's a mystery to me why my cartoon was never snapped up by some publication or other.

So these are the other captions that I was seriously considering for the top prize:

"The NSA already knows what you want, kid." (by Dale Stout)

"I cannot promise it by Xmas sonny, you would do better on line." (by Andrew Bramley)

"I got fired by the Complaint Department. I was too jolly." (by Cary Antebi)

The next contest is scheduled to begin on the last day of the year. In the meantime, enjoy the holiday festivities!

 






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