Contest No. 37 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security code that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click "Save". There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, June 12, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

This is the drawing that needs your funny caption:

"No Bertha, this wasn't on my bucket list."

(by Sharon)

My original caption: "How come I never hear from you any more? The least you could do is send me a penny postcard occasionally!"

Congratulations, Sharon -- this is your third win, so you can once again bask in the glory of being one of the funniest people around.

It was a very close contest -- I kept going back and forth between Sharon's caption and Gary's: "When you choose to do jail speed dating, you can't be that picky!".  But Sharon's bucket list finally won out over Gary's jail speed dating.

Other entries that I was considering:

"My cellmate creeps me out. He has no eyes or mouth!" (by Levi) -- clever and silly, and it made me laugh!

"It's great seeing you after all these many years, Martha. Martha? Martha? Hey, wake up!! (by Tom Nelson)

"Martha, I keep telling you . . . I'm not a bank teller, and I can't cash your checks." (by Cary Antebi)

"Let's see, we don't hug and kiss any more, we only talk to each other fifteen minutes a month, and I hang out every night with the boys . . . so nothing has really changed." (also by Cary Antebi)

"Why are you wearing a hat, coat and carrying a pocketbook when I'm the one visiting you?" (by Howard Garrett) -- a clever switch, and I liked it.

Interesting, isn't it, how many "old" women's names cropped up in the captions submitted? I'm talking about Bertha, Martha, Gladys, Agnes and Ethel. I guess this was no place for names like Madison, Samantha, Abigail, Sophia or Alyssa.

Good work, everyone -- keep your eyes peeled for the next contest, coming up soon.

Contest No. 36 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security code that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click "Save". There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, May 22, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny caption. Since I drew this quite a while ago, I would like to make it clear that that's supposed to be a really elderly convict, talking to a really elderly visitor. Go for it!

"It's a new way to lose some weight!"

(by Lila)

My original caption: "I've lost twenty pounds since we bought it."

Congratulations, Lila, you're now officially one of the funniest people around!

Yes, once again the winning caption came very close to my original caption. I also liked both of Tom Nelson's captions:

"Since we can't afford the vibrating chair he really wanted, my husband is trying the next best thing. Rock music with the bass turned up."

And "It's called Heavy Metal massage therapy."

I thought all three captions were commercially-acceptable and worthy of publication, but Lila's had the winning edge.

Very few captions this time around. Where is Cary Antebi when we need him? I'll try to make the next contest easier -- no, no, not another psychiatrist couch or desert isle!!

Contest No. 35 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security code that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click "Save". There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, May 1, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Here's the drawing that needs your funny captions. This is another drawing that goes back a long time -- it's from so long ago, in fact, that I signed it (shakily) with both my first and last name. I'm looking forward to seeing your captions.

"Unfortunately, at this point, he can only speak Goo-Goo and Ga-Ga."

(Tom Nelson)

My original caption: "Does he speak? As a matter of fact, he said his very first word today -- 'Da-Da'."

So congratulations, Tom Nelson, you are now officially a member of that very elite group -- one of the funniest people around!

Hmmmm. Ga-Ga or Da-Da? Which works better? Yes, the winning caption is strikingly close to my original one, but after carefully analyzing each entry, I honestly felt that Tom Nelson's caption was the funniest of the lot.

Other captions that I was considering for top honors:

"He's only two weeks old but he can already say 'Squawk' in 30 languages." (by Cary Antebi)

"Yes, Polly, I think he can speak." (by Newbower). I liked the switch of the store owner talking to the parrot, rather than to the customer.

"He's in the pre-verbal phase." (by Sharon)

Good work, everybody. The next contest will be up before you can say "Polly want a quacker".

Contest No. 34 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security code that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click "Save". There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, April 10, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Here's the drawing that needs your funny captions. By the way, this is a gag that I first thought up about 60+ years ago, so don't expect my original caption to be very sophisticated. When a gag that I like doesn't sell the first time around to all the publications, I just re-draw and keep trying again . . . and again . . . and again. So this particular drawing has to be about 40 years old, and that's when I finally gave up on it. Let's see what you can do with it!

"I guess you didn't get the memo about casual Friday." (by Levi)

My original caption: "It happens to be casual Friday."

Congratulations, Levi -- this is your third winning effort, confirming that you are indeed one of the funniest people around.

Yes, Levi's caption is very close to my original caption, but -- despite that -- I honestly felt that it was the funniest of all the captions submitted.

Some of the other entries that I was considering:

"I could look more presentable if I got better tips." (by Anne Noonan)

"Would you like your wine with glasses or just straight from the bottle?" (by Cary Antebi)

"We're out of napkins but you can use my shirt." (also by Cary Antebi)

My thanks to everybody who contributed. The next contest will be up before you know it.

After a long delay, during which this website was being rebuilt, I'm ready to resume Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest.

Contest No. 33 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) enter the anti-spam security code that assures me that you're a human being and not a machine, and (4) click "Save". There is no limit on the number of captions you can submit for each drawing.

Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption. The cut-off time and date for you to submit your captions for this contest is midnight Tuesday, March 20, 2012.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption).

Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

And here's the drawing that needs your funny captions:

As a temporary band-aid, the "anti-spam word" device has been deactivated.

So now it is once again possible for you to submit comments and cartoon captions in the contest. Just follow steps 1) click on "Comments", 2) type in your name and caption and 4) click on "Submit". Forget about step 3.

Hopefully we'll get back to normal soon.