Cartoon Caption Contests

Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 115


Contest No. 115 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, March 21, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 114


                 "Give me pills, lots of pills, and the starry skies above . . . "

                                                (by John Platt)

 

My original caption: "Gather 'round me, I'll telllllll you my story . . . "

 

Well, you obviously all know your way around country songs. But John Platt's caption gave it just the right twist, so he gets his thirteenth victory! Congratulations, John, once again you can bask in the glory of being one of the funniest guys around.

Here are the other captions I was considering for top honors:

"I'll be taking a short break between each set." (by Sharon)

"So you want to hear about the windmills of my mind?" (also by Sharon)

"You're obligated to stay for the entire hour, right?" (by Joe Kalb)

"My dogies won't get along!" (by Tim Collins)

"I'm doing much better, doc. I used to have a banjo on my knee." (by Cary Antebi)

"I want to sing my new song for you, 'The Therapy Blues'." (by mel tanenbaum)

Okay, captioneers, put down that git-box and let's get seriously funny again. The next contest should be up in just a couple of weeks -- keep your eyes peeled for it and bring on those those funny captions.






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 114


Contest No. 114 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, February 28, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. This is a really old drawing of mine, going back many, many decades -- it was even finished off with a brush rather than a pen, since I was experimenting with such things a long time ago. As for the subject matter, well, you know what we gag cartoonists always like to say: "When you have nothing else, you can't go wrong if you throw in a psychiatrist."  Have fun with it.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 113


             "I'm keeping track. Matthew has two more minutes of time out."

                                                 (by sharon)

                    "He's so sensitive. All I said was, 'Can you move a 

                                   little, you're blocking my view'."

                                              (by Cary Antebi)

 

My original caption: "I'm beginning to have serious doubts about his leadership ability."

 

Once again, it's a two-way tie -- something we haven't had since Contest No. 91. Congratulations, sharon (fifth victory) and Cary Antebi (twenty-sixth victory) -- you've earned the right to share in the glory of being two of the funniest people around!

By the way, captioneers, this contest saw a slew of funny captions, so you can all be proud as punch. Here are the others that I was seriously considering for top honors:

"Who's the clown-fish in the back?" (by Tim Collins)

"Ed's just not cut out for the Sychronized Swimming competition." (also by Cary Antebi)

"I hope this will help him get rid of his narcissistic tendancies." (by Andrew Bramley)

"Wow. These high school reunions get larger every year." (also by sharon)

"Christmas is over . . . next the menorah! Then we have to make the Valentine's heart." (by Eric Bjorklund)

"These are my new Fishbook Friends." (by Ken Wilkinson)

And a special appreciative shout-out to Gary, who slipped this caption in exactly seven minutes before the closing deadline: "That's the big fish, Betsy DeVos, leading the way in the wrong direction . . . and there goes our school!"  Yes, yesterday Ms. DeVos was confirmed for her Education slot in President Trump's cabinet, with Vice-President Pence casting the tie-breaking vote. Gary's caption never could have won the contest, of course, but at least it got a great big smile from me.

The new contest will be up in a couple of weeks -- be on the lookout and keep those funny captions coming!






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 113


Contest No. 113 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, February 7, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 112


                       "That sounds more like a threat than an opinion!"

                                                 (by Tim Collins)

 

My original caption: "Just out of curiosity, sir -- is there any substantial difference between your 'Hell, no' and your 'No way, Jose'?"

 

A first-time victory for Tim Collins! Congratulations, Tim -- you are now in that very exclusive club, with all the bragging rights that go with membership: you're officially "one of the funniest people around'.

Here are the other captions that I was seriously considering for top honors:

"Do you prefer to get your fake news in print, online or on television?" (by John Platt)

"This is not about our marriage!" (by Andrew Bramley)

"Actually, it is my business." (by Cary Antebi)

"Do I look fat in this dress?" (also by Cary Antebi)

"OK, now you hold the clipboard and I'll tell you what I think about you!" (also by Cary Antebi)

Thanks for participating, captioneers! The next contest will start in about a fortnight, so be on the lookout for it.






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 112


Contest No. 112 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, January 17, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 111


         "Why don't you two have a nice chat while I call my divorce lawyer."

                                              (by Anonymous)

 

My original caption: "Oh, it's you, dear. Can I have a divorce?"

 

First of all, I suspect "Anonymous" is really Cary Antebi being a little careless in how he submitted the set of five captions that included the winning caption. I'll try to find out for certain, and will post any information I get as soon as possible.

 

Anyway, congratulations to Anonymous for this victory -- it's a first! Whoever you are, you are now officially one of the funniest people around.

(Update: I heard from Cary Antebi and he is indeed "Anonymous". So this is actually his 25th victory -- but in the record books this victory will always have an asterisk next to it. Don't be so careless, Cary!)

Here are the other submissions that were under serious consideration:

"I've traded you in for a newer model." (by kelasher)

"It's more of a portfolio adjustment." (by Richartd Wolf)

"Don't blame me, I didn't make the seating arrangements." (by Cary Antebi)

 

And I thought you might be interested in Bob Mankoff's advice on how to win The New Yorker's Cartoon Caption Contest (he's the Cartoon Editor of The New Yorker). Here it is:

In a nutshell, be brief. As the immortal Bard said, “Brevity is the soul of wit / And tediousness the limbs and outward flourishes.” I know there are reasons to doubt that advice; for one thing, the Bard could drone on a bit himself, and for another he wasn’t immortal.

Nevertheless, data gathered from our Caption Contest illustrate the point. Each week, there are about five thousand entries to the contest. However, there are by no means five thousand different entries. Below are some entries, from a recent contest, that all used the same joke. They appear alongside the ranking they received from our crowdsourcing algorithm.

“Sir, please take one small step out of the vehicle.” (5th)

“I’m going to need you to take one small step for man out of the vehicle, sir.” (14th)

“Sir, I’m going to need you to take one small step and one giant leap out of the car.” (109th)

“I need you to step out of the vehicle for a field sobriety test. Please take one small step for man and one giant leap for mankind.” (697th)

So, to sum up, when you come up with your caption, look for the essence of the joke and then remove the tedious outward flourishes.

                                 ----------------------------------------------------------

 

Now that sounds like some pretty good advice.

My next contest will be up in just a couple of weeks. Good luck to all of you in the New Year -- hope you have a happy and healthy one!






Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 111


Contest No. 111 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, December 27, 2016.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.






Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 110


                          "How can you expect a kid my age to be good?"

                                               (by Anne Noonan)

 

My original caption: "What's with all this gift-giving you do? Is it some sort of tax dodge?"

 

Cangratulations, Anne Noonan! This is your third winning caption, so once again you can announce to the world that you are one of the funniest people around.

These are the other entries that came that close to winning:

"Relax, I have a long list and my diaper was just changed." (by Diane)

"How do you keep your beard so white after going down so many chimneys?" (by Cary Antebi)

"I guess I wouldn't be jolly either if I had to sit in a hot suit all day for minimum wage." (also by Cary Antebi)

"I'm guessing the Red Ryder BB gun would be socio-politically incorrect this year?" (by Tim Collins)

"Give me all the toys in your bag. I've got a gun in my diaper and I'm not afraid to use it." (by mel tannenbaum)

Look for the next contest, which will be posted in a couple of weeks. Enjoy the holidays!






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