Selling Power, 2000





Soap Opera Digest, 1986





Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 114


                 "Give me pills, lots of pills, and the starry skies above . . . "

                                                (by John Platt)

 

My original caption: "Gather 'round me, I'll telllllll you my story . . . "

 

Well, you obviously all know your way around country songs. But John Platt's caption gave it just the right twist, so he gets his thirteenth victory! Congratulations, John, once again you can bask in the glory of being one of the funniest guys around.

Here are the other captions I was considering for top honors:

"I'll be taking a short break between each set." (by Sharon)

"So you want to hear about the windmills of my mind?" (also by Sharon)

"You're obligated to stay for the entire hour, right?" (by Joe Kalb)

"My dogies won't get along!" (by Tim Collins)

"I'm doing much better, doc. I used to have a banjo on my knee." (by Cary Antebi)

"I want to sing my new song for you, 'The Therapy Blues'." (by mel tanenbaum)

Okay, captioneers, put down that git-box and let's get seriously funny again. The next contest should be up in just a couple of weeks -- keep your eyes peeled for it and bring on those those funny captions.




Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 114


Contest No. 114 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, February 28, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions. This is a really old drawing of mine, going back many, many decades -- it was even finished off with a brush rather than a pen, since I was experimenting with such things a long time ago. As for the subject matter, well, you know what we gag cartoonists always like to say: "When you have nothing else, you can't go wrong if you throw in a psychiatrist."  Have fun with it.




The National Law Journal, May 8, 1989





Rotarian, February 1990





The National Law Journal, February 13, 1989





Winner of Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 113


             "I'm keeping track. Matthew has two more minutes of time out."

                                                 (by sharon)

                    "He's so sensitive. All I said was, 'Can you move a 

                                   little, you're blocking my view'."

                                              (by Cary Antebi)

 

My original caption: "I'm beginning to have serious doubts about his leadership ability."

 

Once again, it's a two-way tie -- something we haven't had since Contest No. 91. Congratulations, sharon (fifth victory) and Cary Antebi (twenty-sixth victory) -- you've earned the right to share in the glory of being two of the funniest people around!

By the way, captioneers, this contest saw a slew of funny captions, so you can all be proud as punch. Here are the others that I was seriously considering for top honors:

"Who's the clown-fish in the back?" (by Tim Collins)

"Ed's just not cut out for the Sychronized Swimming competition." (also by Cary Antebi)

"I hope this will help him get rid of his narcissistic tendancies." (by Andrew Bramley)

"Wow. These high school reunions get larger every year." (also by sharon)

"Christmas is over . . . next the menorah! Then we have to make the Valentine's heart." (by Eric Bjorklund)

"These are my new Fishbook Friends." (by Ken Wilkinson)

And a special appreciative shout-out to Gary, who slipped this caption in exactly seven minutes before the closing deadline: "That's the big fish, Betsy DeVos, leading the way in the wrong direction . . . and there goes our school!"  Yes, yesterday Ms. DeVos was confirmed for her Education slot in President Trump's cabinet, with Vice-President Pence casting the tie-breaking vote. Gary's caption never could have won the contest, of course, but at least it got a great big smile from me.

The new contest will be up in a couple of weeks -- be on the lookout and keep those funny captions coming!




Eli's Cartoon Caption Contest No. 113


Contest No. 113 starts right now.

Briefly, here are the details: I'll supply a drawing of one of my old cartoons that has never been published, leaving off my caption. You are invited to supply your funniest captions. Simply (1) click on "Add New Comment". Then (2) scroll down past any other submitted captions and type in your name and your caption in the spaces provided. Then (3) click "Save".

Your caption (or captions) will be posted after I review your submission.

There is no limit on the number of captions you can enter for each drawing. Entries will be accepted and posted for one week, after which a winner will be announced and the winning caption will be printed. Below that I will also print my original caption.

The cut-off time and date for you to send in your captions is midnight Tuesday, February 7, 2017.

I will be the sole judge. The winning caption will be the one I judge to be the funniest one submitted (not necessarily the one that matches or comes closest to my original caption). Additional rules and regulations, for those of you who need such things, can be found here.

Below is the drawing that needs your funny captions.




The National Law Journal, April 18, 1994


Explanation: This cartoon appeared in The National Law Journal. The gag was slanted toward the legal profession and would not have been appropriate or funny had it been printed in any "general purpose" publication, like Better Homes and Gardens. Lawyers are very concerned with the "billable hours" that they can charge to a client. Very simply put, the more billable hours, the higher the income.




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